Approach Over Avoidance
Shift from avoiding pain to pursuing purpose
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 95%
This framework distinguishes between avoidance-based motivation (fear-driven) and approach-based motivation (purpose-driven). Avoidance keeps you reactive and limited, while approach motivation—rooted in a compelling future—fuels courage, creativity, and resilience. By clarifying your 'why' as something you're moving toward, not away from, you transform your behavior and identity.
Origin
Extracted from Young and Profiting
Core principles
- 01Purpose precedes action
- 02Approach goals create momentum; avoidance goals create resistance
- 03Your 'why' determines the quality of your journey
- 04Courage comes from moving toward, not just avoiding
How to run it
- 1
Identify avoidance motives
Write down three things you’re currently avoiding (e.g., failure, judgment, discomfort).
- 2
Define your purpose
Clarify your 'why' by asking: 'What am I truly moving toward?' Make it vivid and emotional.
- 3
Reframe your motivation
Reframe one avoidance goal into an approach goal (e.g., 'I don’t want to be poor' → 'I want to create generational wealth').
- 4
Act on purpose
Each day, take one action aligned with your 'approach why' even if it feels uncomfortable.
- 5
Review your direction
Reflect weekly: 'Did my actions move me toward my vision or just away from fear?'
Common mistakes
Staying in avoidance mode
Focusing only on avoiding negatives keeps you in fear, not purpose.
Weak purpose statement
A vague 'why' fails to inspire action when challenges arise.
Avoiding the fear of pursuing
Ignoring emotional barriers prevents moving toward a meaningful future.
Is it for you?
Best for
Leaders, creators, and changemakers needing sustainable motivation through challenges.
Not ideal for
People seeking short-term fixes or operating in crisis mode without reflection.
From the transcript
“Every goal is either an approach-oriented goal, where you're trying to approach what you want, or you're trying to avoid what you don't want.”
“It's far more powerful to say, 'What do I truly want to approach?'”
“When you have a why to live for, you can bear almost any how.”
From the episode
Dr. Benjamin Hardy: The Mindset Shift That Stops You From Feeling Like a Failure
Dr. Benjamin Hardy