Ask for Advice, Not Opinion
An opinion gets you a critic; advice gets you a partner.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 90%
Cialdini's single most actionable takeaway is a one-word substitution. When you need support or buy-in from colleagues for an idea, do not ask for their opinion about it — ask for their advice. The words look interchangeable but produce opposite postures. Asking for an opinion invites someone to stand outside your idea and evaluate it, which makes them a critic. Asking for advice invites them to step inside and improve it, which makes them a partner. Partners are then much more willing to join you in the idea and support it downstream.
Origin
Cialdini offered this as his answer to the show's closing question about one actionable thing listeners could do today to become more profitable tomorrow — the distillation of his life's work into a single word choice.
Core principles
- 01The word you choose determines the posture the other person adopts.
- 02'Opinion' invites evaluation from outside — the person steps back and judges.
- 03'Advice' invites merger — the person steps in alongside you.
- 04A partner supports the idea downstream; a critic has already positioned against it.
How to run it
- 1
Identify that you need buy-in, not just input
Distinguish moments where you need the person's downstream support from moments where you only need information.
- 2
Swap the word
Say 'I'd value your advice on this' instead of 'what's your opinion of this?'
Pro tip This costs nothing and takes no preparation — it's the highest-leverage-per-effort move in the whole episode.
- 3
Make the merger real
Take the advice seriously and visibly incorporate what's useful, so the person's stake in the idea is genuine.
Watch out Soliciting advice and then ignoring it converts a would-be partner into a resentful critic.
In the wild
You have an idea and need support from colleagues. Instead of circulating it and asking what they think of it, you go to each and ask for their advice on it.
→ Rather than a set of critics who've each staked out an evaluative position, you get partners who are much more willing to join you and support the idea.
Common mistakes
Asking for opinions when you need allies
The word 'opinion' places the person outside your idea in the judge's seat. Once they've articulated a critique, consistency pressure locks them into defending it.
Using 'advice' as a manipulation
If you have no intention of using what they say, the ask is a device rather than a genuine invitation — and it fails the ethics test Cialdini applies to every principle.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone needing internal buy-in for an idea from colleagues or stakeholders.
Not ideal for
Situations where you genuinely want adversarial critique and no downstream support.
From the transcript
“Don't ask their colleagues for their opinion about your idea. Ask for their advice about it, because when you ask for an opinion, you get…”
“My secret is always to be authentic, always to be ethical in the approaches that you use.”
From the episode
Robert Cialdini: World's #1 Influence and Persuasion Expert Shares All
Robert Cialdini