Aspirational vs Local Mentors
Study the unreachable from afar; ask the reachable one or two levels down.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 89%
Gurley's contribution to a well-worn topic is the split. People get too greedy too early — they cold call someone out of reach, get nothing, and conclude they could never get a mentor. Instead, maintain two distinct lists. Aspirational mentors are people you watch from afar: study what matters to them, follow their career, learn from their podcasts and interviews. You never cold call them at the start. Local mentors are people you actually approach, and the trick is to go one or two levels down from where your instinct reaches — because people in the second tier get almost zero asks and are flattered you asked. The payoff of the aspirational list arrives later: when you do finally meet them, you already know everything about them, which makes the connection easy.
Origin
Gurley drew the pattern from profiling Danny Meyer, the New York restaurateur, who on deciding to enter the restaurant business made a list of 10-12 people changing the industry and kept a notebook profiling each. Meyer eventually met every one of them — but never cold called them at the start of the journey.
Core principles
- 01Most people fail at mentorship by getting too greedy too early.
- 02Aspirational mentors are studied, not contacted — you follow their career from afar.
- 03Local mentors should be one or two levels down from your reach, not at the top.
- 04Second-tier people get almost zero asks, so they're flattered and far more willing to help.
How to run it
- 1
Build the aspirational list
Name 10-12 people currently changing your field. These are people you will study, not contact.
Pro tip Keep a notebook with a profile of each — Danny Meyer's exact method.
- 2
Study them from afar
Watch them on podcasts and YouTube, follow their careers, learn what matters to them. This is free and unlimited.
Pro tip This overlaps with learning the canon of your field — the same study serves both.
Watch out Do not cold call this tier at the beginning of the journey. That's the greed that kills the whole strategy.
- 3
Build the local list one or two levels down
Take whoever your instinct says you want as an in-person mentor, then deliberately go down one or two levels of seniority.
- 4
Reach out to the local tier
Ask them directly. Second-tier people receive almost zero asks, so they're honored and much more likely to actually help.
- 5
Let the aspirational meeting come later
When you eventually cross paths with someone from the aspirational list, you'll know their story deeply — and the connection is easy to make.
In the wild
When Meyer decided to become a restaurateur, he listed 10-12 people who were changing the restaurant industry, kept a notebook profiling each, and studied what they did — without contacting them.
→ He eventually met every single one of them along the way, arriving already knowing them.
Common mistakes
Cold calling someone out of reach
People reach too far too early, get ignored, and conclude mentorship isn't available to them — abandoning the whole approach because of a targeting error.
Confusing the two lists
Treating aspirational mentors as outreach targets wastes your ask and burns your confidence. They're study subjects until circumstances change.
Is it for you?
Best for
Early-career people and field-switchers building a network from zero.
Not ideal for
People who already have strong warm access to leaders in their field, or fields where mentorship is formally assigned.
From the transcript
“What I find happens most in the real world is people get too greedy too early... that's all because I think they stretch too far…”
“People in the second tier get almost zero ask. So... whoever it is you think you want, like just go one or two levels down,…”
“He ended up meeting every single one of them along the way, but he didn't cold call them at the beginning of the journey.”
From the episode
Bill Gurley: Break Free From Career Regret and Design Work You Love
Bill Gurley