Be Exceptional Offstage
Excellence at your craft is the minimum; the edge is what no one pays you for.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 82%
Be Exceptional Offstage holds that being excellent at the thing you're paid for is merely the minimum requirement; the real competitive edge comes from being fantastic at the things no one pays you to do. For Mel, that meant obsessive attention to the small acts that make gatekeepers and support staff feel taken care of — because those are the people with the power to hire you again and recommend you. The principle scales directly to social media: engaging commenters and the people who serve your audience is the same behavior that won her repeat corporate bookings. She claims to be a category-of-one not primarily for her stage work, but for what she does offstage.
Origin
Doing 115 speeches a year for Starbucks, JP Morgan, and Microsoft, Mel noticed that the event planners — not the CEOs — were the ones tracking her and managing a million things. She began texting each planner a fun selfie the moment she landed: 'I'm here, excited to see you.' It took one thing off their list and made them love her, driving rehires and referrals. She traces the deeper value to her public-defender days, where seeing accused people with no one in the courtroom made her vow to always show up for people.
Core principles
- 01Being excellent at the thing you're paid for is the minimum requirement, not the differentiator.
- 02You become exceptional by being fantastic at the things no one pays you to do.
- 03Small acts that make gatekeepers and support people feel taken care of drive repeat hires and referrals.
- 04The same principle scales online: respond to comments and engage the people who serve your audience.
How to run it
- 1
Master the core craft as table stakes
Practice until you're genuinely excellent at the thing people pay you for. This earns you the right to be on the stage but does not differentiate you.
Pro tip Don't hang your hat on being fantastic at the thing they're paying you to do — that's the floor.
- 2
Map the unpaid, invisible touchpoints
Identify the gatekeepers and support people around the transaction — event planners, coordinators, the folks who serve the decision-makers — plus, online, your commenters.
Pro tip Be amazing with the people who serve the people at the top — they have the real power and get everything done.
- 3
Do the small, unpaid thing consistently
Take one item off their plate or make them feel seen — a selfie on landing, a thank-you, responding to comments and going to their account.
Pro tip The same behavior that won corporate rebookings grows a social audience: track your name and reply.
In the wild
Every time Mel landed in a new city for one of her 115 annual speeches, she texted the event planner — not the CEO who hired her — a fun selfie: 'I'm here. Thank you. Excited to see you.' It made the person responsible for tracking her feel loved and took one thing off their list.
→ Planners rehired and recommended her repeatedly, because she made their impossible job easier.
At Mel's 143 Studios, everyone wears name tags on production days, the whole team stands to welcome guests, and guests get a standing ovation on the way out — deliberate small acts so people feel at ease, seen, and recognized.
→ Guests and staff feel taken care of, reinforcing the relationships that make people want to work with her.
Common mistakes
Relying on core talent alone
Being great at the paid thing is the minimum; treating it as your differentiator leaves the real edge — the unpaid, relational work — on the table.
Courting only the decision-makers
Obsessing over the people at the top while ignoring the gatekeepers and support staff misses where the real hiring and referral power actually sits.
Is it for you?
Best for
Speakers, freelancers, service providers, and creators who want repeat business and word-of-mouth growth.
Not ideal for
Those who haven't yet reached excellence at the core craft — that comes first.
From the transcript
“Being able to be excellent at the thing is the minimum requirement.”
“You want to be exceptional, be fantastic at the things no one pays you to do.”
“Every time I landed in a new city, I would always text the event planner... a fun selfie of me getting off the plane. I'm…”
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