Confidence Anchor Routine
Pair sensory and written cues with a prepared confident state
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 93%
Create a portable reminder while you feel confident, then use it when pressure changes your state. Heather learned this from her son, who wrote a message on his basketball shoe so he could recover after missing shots. She adapted it by writing a short commitment on her own shoes before scary situations. She also pairs lavender with calming down and a particular perfume with preparing to perform at a higher level. The mechanism is a repeatable association: a visible phrase or sensory cue reconnects the person with a message rehearsed before the difficult moment. It supplements preparation; it does not replace competence, practice, or honest assessment.
Origin
Heather's son asked her to write a confidence message on his basketball shoe so he could recover mid-game. She adopted shoe messages and sensory cues for her own performances.
Core principles
- 01Confidence fluctuates during performance
- 02A cue prepared in a strong state can restore the intended message
- 03Repeated sensory associations make a routine easier to trigger
How to run it
- 1
Write the message
Choose a brief statement that reflects the action and identity you want under pressure. Prepare it while you are calm and confident.
Pro tip Use language you genuinely believe or can act on.
- 2
Place a visible cue
Put the message on an object available during the performance, such as a shoe, card, or note. Make it easy to check discreetly.
Watch out Do not place it where it distracts from safety or the task.
- 3
Add a sensory anchor
Select a scent, song, or other cue and use it consistently before important situations. Pair it with the intended emotional state.
Pro tip Use one cue repeatedly rather than changing it every time.
- 4
Trigger and repeat
Review the message and use the sensory cue before the event and whenever confidence drops. Repeat the routine across performances to strengthen familiarity.
Pro tip Combine the cue with a prepared next action, such as stepping on stage or taking the next shot.
In the wild
Before her TED talk, Heather looked at the message written on her shoes, used lavender to calm herself, and reframed the choice: avoiding the stage would create regret, while trying and failing would still make her proud.
→ The cues helped her move from fear into the performance.
Common mistakes
Using cues instead of preparation
A confidence anchor can alter state but cannot supply missing knowledge or practice. Build the skill first.
Choosing an inaccessible cue
The reminder must be available when confidence drops, not stored somewhere you cannot reach.
Is it for you?
Best for
Speakers, athletes, and professionals entering repeatable high-pressure situations.
Not ideal for
People who need skill development or preparation and are using a cue to avoid doing the underlying work.
From the transcript
“how i feel right now because right now i feel super confident and i know i can do all things”
“whenever i'm going into a scary situation or something where i'm questioning my confidence i always write on my shoes i can i will and…”
From the episode
Heather Monahan on Creating Confidence