Connection Over Pitch (Build a Bridge, Then Swap)
Don't convince people — find the bridge, then trade what you have for what they need.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 85%
Storey says he doesn't think he can be beaten on a pitch, and his method inverts the standard one. Sales and pitching are usually about convincing somebody of something; he refuses that frame entirely. Instead he finds places of connection — asks about your mother, your father, whether you have cats or dogs — and builds a bridge. Connection becomes conversation, conversation becomes exchange. His metaphor is old farm trading: your family has too many horses, mine has too many cows, so we swap. Applied to a network pitch, that means asking what their programming is missing rather than announcing that his show is fancy. The result is that executives break character because, as one told him, most people just want something from them.
Origin
Storey learned this from what he calls the masters who have been around a long time and do very well. It also traces to his own likability — a well-known actor friend called him Forest Gump because people like him so much they just want to do things for him — and to a psychologist who told him at 24 that he didn't know who he was or how he affected people.
Core principles
- 01Pitching is convincing; connecting is exchanging. Only one of them lands.
- 02Find places of connection — mother, father, cats, dogs, backstory — and build a bridge.
- 03Be a good listener with your plan in your pocket, not on the table.
- 04Ask what they need before describing what you have.
- 05The frame is a swap: your cows for their horses.
- 06People do business with backstories they like, even over stronger offers.
How to run it
- 1
Drop the convincing frame
Decide before you walk in that you are not there to persuade anyone that you're fancy or that they should buy your show. That entire posture is what everyone else does.
Watch out The 'look at me, I'm fancy, you should buy my show' opening is the exact thing Storey names as the failure.
- 2
Find places of connection
Talk about somebody's mother, somebody's father. Find out whether they have cats or dogs. Ask about their backstory. These are the bridge pilings.
Pro tip People like to talk about themselves. Let them, and actually listen.
Watch out This only works if the curiosity is real — Storey's whole edge is that his motives are pure and people can tell.
- 3
Build the bridge into a conversation
Connection becomes conversation. You are now two people talking rather than one person selling and one person being sold to.
- 4
Ask what they need
Instead of describing your asset, diagnose theirs: your programming seems down in this area, up in that one — what are you looking for?
- 5
Propose a swap
Frame the deal as an exchange, like farmers trading surplus cows for surplus horses. Your gift for their gap. That's an exchange, not a request.
Pro tip Keep the plan and the idea with you — be a good listener WITH your plan, don't abandon it.
Watch out Don't take someone to a great restaurant and start pitching away. Ask about their mother instead.
In the wild
Meeting the head of a division at one of the top three networks (ABC, CBS or NBC), Storey used the connection approach. The executive stopped and said 'can I break character for a minute?' then told him: 'Oh my god, you're touching me emotionally. Most people just want something from me.'
→ Storey's reply — 'not me, I don't want to be in the wrong place' — is why he says he can't be beaten on a pitch.
Storey says he has done business with people who were not as good as somebody else, purely because he liked their backstory.
→ Direct proof from the buyer's side of the table that connection outcompetes a stronger objective offer.
A very well-known actor friend told Storey: 'Tim, people like you so much, they just want to do things for you.' NFL players, NBA players and movie stars opened doors for him early because they saw his servant's heart.
→ Storey attributes it to reaping what he sowed — pure motives and wanting to lift others up more than himself.
Common mistakes
Opening with the pitch
Storey's line: don't take me to a great restaurant and just start pitching away — ask me about my mother. The pitch-first opening marks you as one of the many who just want something.
Leading with what you've done for others
Storey names the 'I helped build Tony Robbins this, I helped Russell Brunson with that, I could do this for you' opener as the biggest hit-up he gets and a conversation he never wanted to be in.
Faking the listening
The method depends on genuine curiosity. Storey says he is an amazing listener, which most people are not — performing interest while waiting for your slot reads as exactly what it is.
Is it for you?
Best for
Founders pitching VCs, creators pitching networks or partners, and anyone whose meetings keep ending politely and going nowhere.
Not ideal for
Transactional, high-volume, short-cycle selling where there is no room to build a relationship — and anyone who would fake the curiosity.
From the transcript
“I think that a lot of the things that are talked about with sales and pitching is like we're trying to convince somebody of something.”
“Talk about somebody's mother, talk about somebody's father, find out do they have cats, do they have dogs, find places of connection and build a…”
“So with the pitch, be a good listener with your plan, what you have, your idea. Be a good listener. Just don't take me to…”
From the episode
Tim Storey: The Mindset Shift That Turns Setbacks into Extraordinary Comebacks
Tim Storey