Core Values Definition Protocol
If you removed it and you're still you, it was never core.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 87%
Stahl treats core values as the diagnostic layer that most people fake. A core value is a non-negotiable fundamental principle you actively live by — a core ingredient of your being, such that removing it means you're no longer there. Two tests catch the fakes: the removal test, and the evidence test against your actual history. A third step defines the word, because 'adventure' means skydiving in the Alps to one client and trying new restaurants in Miami to another. The same discipline applies to relationships, where two people sharing a value word can be driven apart by incompatible definitions of it.
Origin
Stahl thought security was a core value while planning her intelligence career. She later learned her actual core value was connection — and that intelligence work meant going to foreign countries to turn people against their own state and being dishonest about who she was for a higher mission. The journey was in direct violation of her core values, which she calls the biggest turn signal she could only read in hindsight.
Core principles
- 01Core values are the non-negotiable fundamental principles by which you actively live your life.
- 02Remove one and you are not there anymore — that's the test.
- 03You can value something without it being a core value.
- 04Most stated values are aspirational — what you wish you were, not what you are.
- 05The word is meaningless until defined; two people can share a value word and live it incompatibly.
How to run it
- 1
Write your candidate words
List the value words you believe describe you — connection, integrity, wisdom, adventure, peace, whatever surfaces.
Watch out Expect most of your first list to be aspirational.
- 2
Define each word concretely
For each word ask: what does this mean to me, behaviourally? Name the actual activities and commitments.
Pro tip Do this with a partner or co-founder too — the word is the illusion of agreement, the definition is the actual agreement.
- 3
Run the removal test
Remove the value. If you're still you, it wasn't core. If you're not there anymore, it is.
- 4
Run the evidence test
Check the word against your actual life history. If peace were truly core, you'd never have become a litigator.
Watch out This step is where aspirational words die. Do not defend them.
- 5
Separate wanting from being
File what you want more of separately. It's great to know, it just isn't a core value.
In the wild
One client said adventure meant skydiving and adrenaline sports — every year skiing the Alps, down the moguls, between the trees. Another client in Miami said adventure meant trying new restaurants. Same word, incompatible lives.
→ Stahl now defines the word before accepting it, and applies the same rule to couples — she watched a couple who both 'valued religion' driven apart because the way it showed up was so different.
An attorney client picked peace as a core value. Stahl pushed back: you're a lot of things, and you're done being a litigator, but peaceful isn't one of them — because if peace were truly core, you'd never have ended up in this career.
→ The evidence test exposed the word as aspirational and forced a real value list underneath the pivot.
Common mistakes
Selecting aspirational words
Far too many people think they know their core values but are selecting words that are things they wish they were, not things they actually are. Aspirational values point your career at a person who doesn't exist.
Agreeing on the word instead of the definition
People say 'my partner and I have the same values' having never defined them. Stahl watched shared 'religion' become a point of disconnect rather than connection because the two definitions diverged.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone whose career or relationship feels wrong for reasons they can't name.
Not ideal for
Quick tactical decisions that don't touch identity.
From the transcript
“I think far too many people think they know their core values, but they tend to be selecting words that are aspirational. Words that are…”
“Your core values are the non-negotiable fundamental principles by which you actively live your life. So, these are the core ingredients to your being. If…”
“The journey along the way was in direct violation of my core values.”
From the episode
Ashley Stahl: The Road to Self-Discovery, Uncover Your Core Skills and Values for Career Success
Ashley Stahl