Culture of Belonging and Bravery
You can't make people happy — you can make them feel they belong and are safe enough to be brave.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 87%
Silver rejects the goal of keeping everyone happy — she says plainly that she cannot. What she can do is create a culture of belonging and bravery, inside which fulfilment, satisfaction and happiness become findable. The mechanics are concrete: pay attention to what people are going through inside and outside work, give them growth, development and at-bats, and ensure they feel recognised. Belonging also means people can bring their whole selves — which puts an obligation on the leader to show up that way first. Silver ties her own public authenticity about sexuality and dyslexia directly to this: if her mantra is belonging and bravery, she has to walk the walk.
Origin
Silver came out as a lesbian at 22 but hid it at work into her early thirties, even in San Francisco, because she never got the signal it was okay. When she eventually shared her whole self she found people responded with inspiration and appreciation. Arriving at VaynerMedia as one of the oldest people there, already past caring, she made that lived lesson the mantra of the Chief Heart Officer role.
Core principles
- 01Happiness is not a deliverable; belonging and recognition are.
- 02Physical and psychological safety are the leader's responsibility at the start and end of every day.
- 03Belonging means people can bring their whole selves to work — seen and unseen.
- 04Bravery requires the leader to walk the walk first and visibly.
- 05Pay attention to what people are going through inside and outside of work — there is life either side of the nine-hour day.
How to run it
- 1
Drop happiness as the target
Accept you cannot keep everyone happy. Replace the goal with belonging and bravery — a condition you can actually build — and let fulfilment and satisfaction be found within it.
- 2
Own safety as your job
Make it explicitly your responsibility that people feel physically and psychologically safe, across race, religion, sexuality, seen and unseen disabilities, and diversity of thinking.
Watch out If safety is nobody's named job, it defaults to nobody doing it.
- 3
Pay attention across the whole life
Notice what people are carrying inside and outside work. Someone's mum is in hospital, someone got engaged, someone's cat died — all of it walks through the door with them.
Pro tip Silver's framing: there's a work-life melt now, not a separation. Look at the holistic human being.
- 4
Give growth and at-bats
Growth opportunities and real chances to perform are how belonging becomes bravery — people are learning hard skills and life skills at the same time, and both signal they're valued.
- 5
Walk the walk visibly
Bring your own whole self first. Silver is public about her sexuality and her dyslexia precisely because she cannot ask for bravery she doesn't demonstrate.
Pro tip Her freeing observation: no one really cares — people are consumed with themselves. So just do you, and you'll lighten your load tenfold.
In the wild
Through her twenties and into her early thirties, in San Francisco of all places, Silver kept her sexuality out of work because she never got the signal it was okay. Once she started sharing her whole self, people found inspiration and appreciation in it — and by the time she reached VaynerMedia she was simply herself from day one.
→ She stopped carrying the monkey on her back, and made bringing your whole self the explicit mantra of the Chief Heart Officer role.
Common mistakes
Chasing happiness metrics
Happiness is not in the leader's control and moves for reasons unrelated to work. Belonging and recognition are buildable and go, in Silver's words, a heck of a long way.
Requiring whole selves from a hidden leader
People read signals, not policies. Silver hid for a decade because she didn't get the signal at work that it was okay — silence from a leader is itself a signal.
Is it for you?
Best for
People leaders and founders building culture at scale who need a target they can actually influence.
Not ideal for
Leaders unwilling to model vulnerability themselves — the framework collapses if the leader asks for whole selves while hiding their own.
From the transcript
“creating a culture of belonging and bravery is really what I'm doing every day and within that culture you can find fulfillment satisfaction happiness because…”
“it is my responsibility at the end of the day in the beginning of the day to make sure that people feel physically and psychologically…”
“my whole mantra is creating a culture of belonging and bravery and making sure that people feel like they can bring their whole selves to…”
“remember no one really cares people are very consumed sauce and so just do you and in being you you're gonna lighten your load by…”
From the episode
Claude Silver: Leading with Love
Claude Silver