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CommunicationErica Dhawan

Digital Body Language

The handshake, head nod, and lean-in have been replaced by response time, channel choice, and punctuation.

Difficulty
Moderate
Time to result
~weeks to results
Steps
4
Confidence
95%

Digital body language is the complete set of signals and cues that have replaced traditional nonverbal communication in the modern workplace. Dhawan argues that the handshake, head nod, and lean-in are now encoded in response times, choice of channel, punctuation, emojis, and subject lines. Because up to 70% of communication is nonverbal yet up to 70% of modern communication is virtual, a huge amount of meaning is lost unless leaders consciously translate empathy and attentiveness into digital markers. The core reframes: reading carefully is the new listening, and writing clearly is the new empathy. Used well, digital body language can even correct biases that plague in-person interaction.

Origin

Dhawan, a shy introverted daughter of Indian immigrants who spoke accented English, learned to decode traditional body language as a childhood coping mechanism. As a Harvard research fellow teaching public speaking around 2013, she noticed the curriculum was written for a 20th-century world of firm handshakes while communication was moving to rings, dings, Slack, and video, and coined 'digital body language' to name the new signals.

Core principles

  • 01Body language did not disappear online — it transformed into a new set of signals and cues.
  • 02Reading messages carefully is the new listening.
  • 03Writing clearly is the new empathy.
  • 04Valuing people visibly means valuing their time, their inbox, and their schedule.
  • 05The subject line is the new eye contact; the recap email is the new handshake.

How to run it

  1. 1

    Recognize the loss of signal

    Accept that in a virtual or hybrid setting the nonverbal cues you rely on in person are simply gone, and that this loss is real even for teams sharing an office who still email and video-call constantly.

    Pro tip This applies even to five-days-a-week in-office teams collaborating with people on other floors or in other locations.

  2. 2

    Translate each in-person cue to its digital equivalent

    Map the traditional markers of empathy and respect to their digital versions: eye contact becomes a sharp subject line, the closing handshake becomes the recap email, reading a face becomes reading a message carefully.

  3. 3

    Send a quick recap email after every meeting

    Within ten minutes of a virtual or hybrid meeting, send a short note stating what happened, what's next, and the next steps so everyone feels aligned and heard.

    Pro tip Assign a designated note-taker to own the recap so it always goes out.

    Watch out We have all been in in-person meetings where everyone nodded and nothing got done — the recap is what creates real alignment.

  4. 4

    Replace assumed alignment with frequent check-ins

    Rather than assuming everyone is on the same page, add more frequent, shorter touchpoints. Convert a single weekly hour-long meeting into several short check-ins across the week.

    Pro tip One team replaced a weekly one-hour meeting with three 15-minute check-ins and it solved the loss of in-person body language.

In the wild

The executive with abysmal digital body language

An executive received 360 feedback that her empathy was weak. Shadowing her in-person meetings, Dhawan found excellent traditional empathy — eye contact, thoughtful questions, humor. But her digital body language was abysmal: brief low-context emails ('send me this now'), all-caps texts, looking at her phone on video calls, and last-minute cancellations of virtual meetings her team had waited weeks to present in.

The diagnosis revealed a whole new set of digital markers of empathy she needed to learn — valuing people's time, inboxes, and schedules — which her strong in-person skills had masked.

Common mistakes

Assuming strong in-person skills carry over to digital

Being warm, personable, and empathetic in the room says nothing about how you come across on Slack and email, where tone and nonverbal cues are absent and can be completely lost.

Treating 'back to the office' as the fix

The answer is not forcing everyone in person. Well before the pandemic, virtual teams were shown to outperform co-located ones, and many toxic cultures sit in the same office.

Is it for you?

Best for

Leaders and teams working across distance, screens, and digital channels who are strong in person but losing signal digitally.

Not ideal for

Fully co-located teams whose work involves almost no written or remote communication.

From the transcript

Body language wasn't disappearing in these worlds. It was transforming and it was transforming into a whole new set of signals and cues that I…

Erica Dhawan · 05:00

Reading messages carefully is the new listening. Writing clearly is the new empathy.

Erica Dhawan · 05:30

From the episode

Erica Dhawan: Digital Body Language, Effective Communication Strategies for the Digital Age

Erica Dhawan