Havening for Trauma Relief
Soothe a triggered memory with 30 seconds of bilateral touch.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 82%
Havening is a self-soothing technique using bilateral hemisphere stimulation to defuse a triggered traumatic memory. When an upsetting image or memory floods you, you rate the distress one-to-ten, then apply touch, stroking down from shoulders to elbows, stroking the face, or rubbing the hands, for about 30 seconds at a time. You re-rate after each round and repeat up to six or seven times as the distress drops. Amen used it on himself after finding a distressing mortuary photo of his late father, taking it from a nine down to neutral. It belongs to a family of techniques including EMDR, tapping and hypnosis.
Origin
Amen describes learning and teaching havening (available at havening.org) and writing about it in his book Your Brain Is Always Listening, then using it on himself days after his father's death when a mortuary photo triggered him.
Core principles
- 01Trauma leaves an imprint of brain activity that can be triggered unexpectedly.
- 02Bilateral hemisphere stimulation can bring a memory up and then calm it down.
- 03Choose soothing techniques that help now and later, not ones that hurt later.
- 04Rating distress before and after gives you objective feedback.
How to run it
- 1
Notice the trigger
Recognize when you are obsessing over an upsetting memory or image and consciously decide to intervene.
- 2
Rate the distress
Score how upsetting the memory feels on a scale of one to ten so you have a baseline to measure against.
- 3
Apply bilateral touch
For about 30 seconds, stroke down from your shoulders to your elbows, stroke your face, or rub your hands together to deliver bilateral hemisphere stimulation.
Watch out During times like a pandemic, avoid the face-stroking version for hygiene.
- 4
Repeat and re-rate
Re-rate the distress and repeat the touch up to six or seven times, watching the number fall until the memory stops bothering you.
Pro tip Reframe the neutralized memory positively once the charge is gone.
In the wild
Days after his father died, Amen found a photo of his dead father misfiled in a stack of papers and it upset him for the rest of the day. He rated it a nine, began havening in 30-second rounds, and after the third round it no longer bothered him.
→ After a few more rounds it became his favorite picture, the last image of his father at peace.
Common mistakes
Reaching for fixes that fail
Using marijuana, alcohol, ice cream or anger to numb a triggered memory soothes now but hurts later and never resolves the trauma.
Quitting after one round
Stopping after a single 30-second pass misses that the distress usually needs several repetitions to fully dissipate.
Is it for you?
Best for
People coping with grief, intrusive images or trauma triggers who want a self-administered calming tool.
Not ideal for
Complex or severe trauma that warrants professional therapy rather than self-help alone.
From the transcript
“you do it for 30 seconds and you rate it like on a scale of one to ten how upsetting it is”
“the trick is do something that helps rather than do things that hurt”
From the episode
Dr. Daniel Amen: Brain Boosting Habits
Dr. Daniel Amen