Highlight a Gap
Show people the distance between what they say and what they do.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 92%
Highlighting a gap exploits the human need for internal consistency between attitudes and actions. When the two don't align, a negative emotional state called cognitive dissonance arises, and people work to reduce it by changing either their attitude or their action. Because attitudes and actions often sit apart and unconnected, the change agent's job is to bring them together — reminding someone of what they say they care about while pointing at a contradictory behavior, so they change themselves.
Origin
The Thai Health Promotion Foundation had children approach smokers on the street asking for a light. Smokers refused and lectured the kids about smoking's dangers — then the kids handed them a card reading 'you worry about me, but not yourself.' Quitline calls rose 40%.
Core principles
- 01People want their attitudes and actions to line up.
- 02A mismatch creates cognitive dissonance, an uncomfortable state people act to reduce.
- 03Attitudes and actions often sit apart and aren't consciously connected.
- 04Bringing them together lets people change their own behavior.
How to run it
- 1
Find the stated attitude
Identify something the person already claims to care about or believe.
Pro tip Pick something you know they'll say yes to.
- 2
Find the contradicting action
Identify a behavior of theirs that doesn't line up with that stated attitude.
- 3
Bring them together
Surface the attitude and the action side by side so the person sees the gap themselves.
Pro tip Ask a question — 'you care about this, so why aren't you doing that?' — rather than accusing.
Watch out Don't tell them they're wrong; that triggers reactance.
In the wild
Children asked smokers for a light; smokers refused and lectured them on smoking's dangers, then received a card: 'you worry about me, but not yourself. If you're interested in quitting, here's a number.'
→ The campaign drove a 40% increase in quitline calls and went viral with millions of views.
Instead of telling a maskless colleague they're wrong, ask whether they'd want others to wear masks around their elderly parents or kids — something they'll say yes to — then ask why they aren't.
→ The person confronts their own inconsistency and is more likely to change on their own.
Common mistakes
Assuming information is the problem
Smokers already know all the dangers — sometimes more than doctors — so more facts won't move them.
Telling instead of highlighting
Saying 'you're wrong, do this' triggers reactance; surfacing the gap lets people change themselves.
Is it for you?
Best for
Behavior change where the person already claims to hold the relevant value.
Not ideal for
Cases where no genuine attitude-action conflict exists to surface.
From the transcript
“people want their attitudes and their actions to line up and if they don't a negative emotional reaction occurs called cognitive dissonance”
“you worry about me but not yourself if you're interested in quitting here's a number to call”
“pick something you know they'll say yes to and then say great interesting but then why aren't you wearing one”
From the episode
Jonah Berger on How to Change Anyone's Mind