Information, Consequences, Choice
Prompt action without triggering a Rebel's resistance
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 98%
Information, Consequences, Choice is a communication sequence for Rebels, who often resist both outside demands and self-imposed schedules. First state the neutral information they need. Next explain the likely consequences of acting or not acting, including deadlines and trade-offs. Then return control by allowing them to choose. The crucial final step is restraint: do not append a command, invoke a prior promise, monitor compliance, or rescue them from every negative result. This preserves autonomy while making reality visible. It is not covert manipulation; the choice must be genuine, and the communicator must be prepared for inaction. If the outcome also affects you, either connect the action to reasons the Rebel personally chooses, handle it yourself, or accept the consequence.
Origin
Rubin presents the sequence as a practical way partners can communicate with Rebels, illustrated by the deadline for choosing a vacation hotel.
Core principles
- 01Autonomy motivates Rebels more reliably than commands
- 02Consequences should be visible before the choice
- 03Pressure can ignite the behavior it is meant to prevent
- 04Natural consequences must be allowed to occur
How to run it
- 1
Give information
State the relevant facts, deadlines, and current situation in neutral language.
Pro tip Use observations rather than accusations or reminders of duty.
Watch out Do not disguise an order as information.
- 2
Name consequences
Explain what is likely to happen if action occurs now and what is likely if it does not.
Pro tip Keep consequences concrete and naturally connected to the decision.
Watch out Avoid threats created only to force compliance.
- 3
Return the choice
Leave the decision with the Rebel instead of prescribing the answer.
Watch out Do not follow with 'so you have to do it.'
- 4
Stop pushing
Do not repeatedly remind, check, micromanage, or cite a promise after the information is clear.
Pro tip Silence is part of the method.
- 5
Allow the outcome
Let the natural consequences occur, or take ownership of the task yourself if you cannot accept them.
Watch out Repeated rescue teaches that the consequences are not real.
In the wild
A partner says that booking by Friday will probably secure the preferred hotel, while waiting until next week may mean a poor hotel or staying far away. They stop there rather than adding a demand, a reminder of an earlier promise, or repeated check-ins.
→ The Rebel receives the information and trade-off while retaining ownership of the decision.
Common mistakes
Adding a command at the end
A final 'you have to' converts useful information into an expectation that may trigger resistance.
Rescuing every failure
Removing the negative consequence makes future consequence information less credible.
Is it for you?
Best for
Shared decisions with a Rebel who has enough information and legitimate freedom to choose.
Not ideal for
Emergencies, legal obligations, or safety-critical situations where the choice cannot genuinely be left open.
From the transcript
“information consequences choice you give them the information you need you tell them the consequences of their action are in action and then you let…”
“you have to let negative consequences fall”
From the episode
Gretchen Rubin: Turn Failed Resolutions Into Goals That Stick
Gretchen Rubin