Labeling (Seems Like / Sounds Like)
Name what they're feeling and the floodgates of truth open.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 92%
Labeling replaces the question with an observation of feeling: 'what's on your mind today' becomes 'seems like there's stuff on your mind today'. Voss's team now uses labels far more than questions to extract information. The reason is Kahneman: a 'what' question triggers System 2 slow, in-depth thinking, so the answer comes back guarded, filtered, and possibly not at all if the person lacks the mental energy. A label triggers unvarnished thoughts to come out much more readily. Clients describe the effect as labels unlocking the floodgates of truth talk — people get so much more candid that they simply start sharing without thinking about what they're saying.
Origin
Voss's team shifted increasingly toward labels over questions in the years after his first appearance on the podcast, driven by client results. He grounds the mechanism in Danny Kahneman's Thinking, Fast and Slow: what-questions push people into slow, deliberative thinking, which produces guarded answers, while labels bypass that system entirely.
Core principles
- 01A label is a statement of what you perceive they're feeling, not a question.
- 02Questions trigger slow, in-depth thinking, which produces guarded and filtered answers.
- 03Labels bypass that and trigger unvarnished thoughts.
- 04Use labels more than questions to get information out of people.
- 05A label makes people feel safe sharing what actually crossed their mind.
How to run it
- 1
Read the mismatch
Watch for words that don't match tone or body language — an 'okay' delivered with hesitation means a lot of things are crossing their mind.
Pro tip The mismatch is the signal that what they're saying and what they're feeling are two different things. That's where you dig.
Watch out Take a hesitant 'okay' at face value and you'll think the deal is going through without a hitch. You're in for a rude surprise.
- 2
Convert the question into a statement
Take the question you were about to ask and rebuild it as an observation. 'What's stopping you guys from going through with this deal?' becomes 'seems like there's something stopping you guys from going through with this deal'.
Pro tip 'Seems like' and 'sounds like' are the workhorse openers.
- 3
Deliver it and stop
Say the label, then say nothing. The silence is what gives them room to fill it.
Pro tip The second version of a prompt — the label — will get a lot more information than the question ever would.
Watch out Following the label with a question collapses it back into slow thinking and re-engages their filter.
- 4
Label the emotion, not the fact
'I just said okay, but it seemed like a lot of things crossed your mind when you did' acknowledges what they're feeling. That's what makes them feel safe sharing.
In the wild
Voss demonstrates a counterpart agreeing to a deal with a slow, loaded 'okaaay'. Most people hear the word and conclude they're good. Voss's response is a label: 'I just said okay, but it seemed like a lot of things crossed your mind when you did.'
→ It makes them feel safe sharing everything that actually went through their mind, surfacing the deal risks before they blow up.
Instead of asking 'what's on your mind today', Voss's team says 'seems like there's stuff on your mind today'. Instead of 'what's stopping you guys from going through with this deal', they say 'seems like there's something stopping you guys from going through with this deal'.
→ Clients report that labels unlock the floodgates of truth talk — people become dramatically more candid and start sharing without filtering.
Common mistakes
Defaulting to questions for information
Questions trigger slow in-depth thinking, so the answer comes back guarded and filtered — and if the person's mental energy is low, they may just stop thinking about it because it's too much work.
Believing the words over the delivery
When body language and tone don't match the words, the words are the least reliable signal. That mismatch is the thing to label, not ignore.
Is it for you?
Best for
Discovery, diagnosing stalled deals, and any conversation where you need candid information from someone with reason to guard it.
Not ideal for
Situations requiring precise factual or numeric answers, where a direct question is simply the right tool.
From the transcript
“Instead of saying like 'what's on your mind today', I might say 'seems like there's stuff on your mind today'. Now the second way is…”
“Clients say labels unlock the floodgates of truth talk, because people get so much more candid.”
“A what question will trigger you into slow in-depth thinking, which means the answer is going to be guarded and filtered.”
From the episode
Christopher Voss: Negotiate Like a Boss
Christopher Voss