Make Deposits Before Withdrawals
Never draw on a relationship you haven't paid into — and guard the energy your big ideas require.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 80%
Make Deposits Before Withdrawals is Wells' rule for how to engage people while bringing an idea to fruition. First, take your idea to someone who has actually done the thing — the person who's planned the Disney trip, not a cheerleader. Then ensure the exchange is reciprocal: both people should feel valued, because one-sided relationships quietly drain you. As a founder you must manage time and energy like money, which was hard for Wells because she loves talking to everyone. Critically, she reserves the deep energy her most demanding creative work — like a complex fantasy novel — actually requires.
Origin
As a researcher who loves getting to know people, Wells found that giving advice to everyone took a toll on her health and creativity. She realized she needed to measure the deposits and withdrawals in her relationships to protect the energy required for demanding creative work, and built the concept into the inspiration phase of her book.
Core principles
- 01Engage the right expert for the goal, not the nearest cheerleader.
- 02Both people in a relationship must feel valued and feel they're getting something out of it.
- 03One-sided relationships drain you — you may be getting less than you think, or giving too much.
- 04Managing time and energy is as much a founder's job as managing money.
- 05Reserve the energy your most demanding creative work requires.
How to run it
- 1
Engage the person who's done it
To bring an idea to fruition, seek out the person with real experience of it rather than a cheerleader who simply approves.
Pro tip Want to plan a Disney trip? Talk to someone who took three kids to Disney in August.
- 2
Keep exchanges reciprocal
Make sure both people feel valued and are getting something out of the relationship; don't just call for help without offering any.
Pro tip If a relationship leaves you drained, you may be getting less out of it than you assume.
Watch out Constantly withdrawing without depositing breaks the relationship.
- 3
Budget energy for your real work
Track your deposits and withdrawals so you reserve the energy your most demanding creative work needs, distinct from routine executive tasks.
Pro tip Dreaming up new work needs far more energy than reviewing data with an executive hat on.
Watch out Saying yes to everyone can quietly starve your signature projects of energy.
In the wild
To plan the ultimate Disney trip, Wells says you should talk to someone who's actually planned one for their family — who will warn you 'Disney in August with three kids, here's what you need to know' — rather than a cheerleader who just says you should do it.
→ You get actionable, experience-based guidance instead of empty encouragement.
Common mistakes
Only ever withdrawing
Repeatedly asking for help without offering value creates one-sided relationships that eventually collapse.
Over-giving to everyone
Loving to advise everyone drains health and creativity, leaving no energy for your most important work.
Is it for you?
Best for
Generous connectors who over-give and need to protect energy for their real work.
Not ideal for
People whose relationships are already balanced and whose energy isn't the bottleneck.
From the transcript
“you want to make sure that you're engaging in relationships where both people really feel valued... you don't want one-sided relationships”
“as entrepreneurs we really have to manage our time and our energy”
From the episode
Tina Wells: The Elevation Approach, How to Achieve Work-Life Harmony While Still Crushing Your Goals
Tina Wells