The Of Course Response
Never say 'no big deal' — bank the favor instead.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 92%
When someone genuinely thanks you for a favor, the reflex to say 'oh, don't think anything of it' throws away one of the most powerful influences in human culture. Cialdini realized he had spent years slapping his own goodwill out of the window with the side of his hand. The fix is a two-script substitution. Inside your organization, respond 'Of course, I was glad to help — it's what we do for one another here,' putting the person on record as part of a mutual-aid norm. Outside it, respond 'I'm glad to have the chance to help; I know if the situation were ever reversed, you'd do the same for me' — framed in the future, because a past-tense hypothetical will never come around.
Origin
Cialdini repeatedly did big favors well beyond the call of duty, received genuine and heartfelt thanks, and then heard himself say 'no big deal, would've done it for anybody' — which wasn't even true. He realized he was dismissing his own favor and destroying the reciprocal obligation it had earned, and built the two replacement scripts.
Core principles
- 01Waving off a thank-you destroys the obligation you just earned.
- 02Put the other person on record as a future giver, not as a debtor.
- 03Inside the organization, invoke shared norms. Outside it, invoke a future exchange.
- 04Frame the reciprocal favor in the future tense — the past tense creates nothing.
How to run it
- 1
Notice the reflex
Catch the moment a sincere thank-you arrives and you feel the pull toward 'oh, it was nothing.'
Watch out The reflex feels like humility but functions as erasure.
- 2
Choose the right script by relationship
Internal colleague gets the shared-norm script. External party gets the future-exchange script.
Pro tip The internal version scales — it seeds a culture where everyone expects mutual aid.
- 3
Put them on record in the future tense
Say 'if the situation were ever reversed' rather than 'if the situation had been reversed.' The past-tense version references something that will never appear.
Watch out This only works if the favor was honest and earnest — the script cannot manufacture a debt that wasn't earned.
In the wild
After years of dismissing thanks with 'I don't think anything of it, just part of the job,' Cialdini switched to putting people on record with the of-course scripts.
→ The people he helped became ready to give when he needed something, instead of feeling the debt had been formally cancelled.
Common mistakes
Using the past conditional
'I know you would have done the same for me' points at a hypothetical that has already failed to happen. Only the future framing primes the person to actually give.
Sounding like you're invoicing
The scripts work because they're warm and normative. Delivered transactionally, they convert a favor into a visible debt collection and produce resentment.
Is it for you?
Best for
Managers and professionals who help others frequently but struggle to get reciprocal support.
Not ideal for
Situations where you did not actually go out of your way — the response only works when the favor was real.
From the transcript
“I realized I had just slapped out of the window with the side of my hand, one of the most powerful influences that exist in…”
“You say, Of course. I was glad to do so. I was glad to help. It's what we do for one another here.”
“Please don't say if the situation had been reversed, I know you would've done the same for me. That's in the past. That will never…”
From the episode
Robert Cialdini: World's #1 Influence and Persuasion Expert Shares All
Robert Cialdini