Opinion Holder, Not Competitor
Reclassify the person you envy from rival to source, and the comparison stops costing you.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 88%
Morin's answer to jealousy is a reclassification rather than a suppression. Social comparison is detrimental and hard to avoid — on social media everybody looks happy, healthy, wealthy and successful. But research shows that if you look at other people as opinion holders rather than competitors, it changes everything for your psychological well-being. The mechanism: comparison creates a hierarchy in your brain of who's better, whereas reclassification renders the person merely different — a source of strategies you might learn from. This connects to defining your own success: if you're working toward your definition, someone else's progress toward theirs isn't threatening. In the episode it links to James Altucher's plus/equal/minus structure — a mentor above, peers alongside, someone you teach below — as the practical shape of a non-competitive network.
Origin
Morin cites research on social comparison showing the opinion-holder framing changes psychological outcomes, and applies it to the specific modern context of scrolling social media where everyone appears to be winning. The plus/minus/equal complement comes from James Altucher via host Hala Taha in the same conversation.
Core principles
- 01Social comparison is incredibly detrimental and nearly unavoidable in the age of social media.
- 02Research shows that viewing others as opinion holders rather than competitors changes psychological well-being entirely.
- 03Comparison builds a hierarchy in your brain of who's better; reclassification dissolves the hierarchy into difference.
- 04Define success for yourself — then someone else's progress toward their definition isn't threatening.
- 05Someone working on their goals does not subtract from you reaching yours.
How to run it
- 1
Catch the hierarchy forming
Notice the specific thought: 'that person's so much smarter than I am' or 'they have so much more amazing things going on.' That's your brain building a ranking, and the ranking is what makes you feel bad.
Pro tip Scrolling is the highest-frequency trigger — everyone looks happy, healthy, wealthy and super successful on a feed.
- 2
Reclassify them as an opinion holder
Look at the same person and think: maybe I could learn from them. What strategies are they using to grow their business? How might I learn from that? They're different from you — not better, not worse.
- 3
Write your own definition of success
Create your own definition of success explicitly. Once you have it, you genuinely don't care that someone else is working toward theirs — it doesn't feel threatening because it isn't the same race.
Pro tip This is the abundance mindset made concrete: their goals don't take away from your goals.
- 4
Stop hoarding and start teaching
Notice the instinct to hoard good ideas in case people steal them, or hide what you're doing. Mentor someone struggling instead. Teaching reminds you how far you've come and how much you've accumulated.
Pro tip Teaching is the direct antidote to imposter syndrome — someone's questions remind you there was a time you didn't know this either.
- 5
Build the plus, equal and minus
Assemble the full set: a plus (coach or mentor), equals (peers in your space you learn from), and a minus (people you teach). Treating everyone as competition leaves you working alone, which is the opposite of expansive.
In the wild
People hit imposter syndrome thinking others assume they're better than they are and they're not doing well enough. Morin's observation is that mentoring someone else interrupts this — you tend to think 'I've always known this,' but someone asking questions reminds you there was a time you didn't.
→ Reaching down to mentor people who are struggling makes people feel substantially better, because it makes their accumulated knowledge and skills visible to them again.
Hala Taha relays James Altucher's structure from a conversation the day before: in business you need a plus (a coach or mentor), an equal (peers, other entrepreneurs in your space), and a minus (people you teach).
→ It maps directly onto Morin's point — if you look at everybody as your competition, you're working on something alone, which is not the way to be expansive or do well in business.
Common mistakes
Hoarding ideas against theft
We want to hoard our good ideas as if people are going to steal them and hide what we're doing. This costs you the peer network and mentorship that would actually compound your progress.
Trying to stop comparing instead of reclassifying
Comparison is nearly unavoidable, especially on social media. Willpower against it fails. The lever is the category you file the person under, not the frequency of the thought.
Borrowing someone else's definition of success
Without your own definition, every person's win is a threat by default because you're implicitly in the same race. The definition is what makes their progress irrelevant to yours.
Is it for you?
Best for
Founders and creators in a visible niche who feel envy toward competitors or drain from scrolling
Not ideal for
Genuinely zero-sum competitive contexts where a rival's win literally is your loss
From the transcript
“there's research that will show if you just look at other people as an opinion holder as opposed to your competitor it changes everything in…”
“it's like I'm creating a hierarchy in my brain of who's better, but if I just look at this person and I think oh maybe…”
“in business you need a plus minus and an equal, so plus is like a coach or a mentor, an equal are your peers, and…”
From the episode
Amy Morin: Build Mental Strength to Overcome Any Obstacle
Amy Morin