Personal Commandments
Distill your worldview into a short list of principles you can review.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 94%
Personal Commandments are a short set of overarching principles that distill a person's worldview into language that can be remembered and reviewed. They are not routine instructions such as making the bed or taking a morning walk. Rubin's examples include being true to her own nature, enjoying the process, avoiding scorekeeping, and choosing love over complaint. The mechanism is compression: broad values become compact prompts available at the moment of choice. Creating the list requires self-knowledge because another person's commandments cannot substitute for what is genuinely true for you. Keeping it short preserves usability, while periodic review turns the exercise from creative writing into practical guidance.
Origin
Rubin has used her own list of twelve commandments for more than a decade, with 'be Gretchen' as the first and most personal principle.
Core principles
- 01Guiding principles should sit above daily tasks.
- 02A short list is easier to remember and review.
- 03The commandments should reflect your actual nature and worldview.
- 04Self-acceptance can coexist with expecting more from yourself.
How to run it
- 1
Collect recurring truths
Notice principles, phrases, and lessons that repeatedly help you choose how to act.
Pro tip Look for ideas broad enough to apply across work, relationships, and personal growth.
- 2
Make each one personal
Phrase the principle around your actual nature, values, and recurring failure modes rather than copying someone else's list.
Pro tip Rubin's 'be Gretchen' becomes your own equivalent.
Watch out Self-acceptance should not become an excuse for complacency.
- 3
Keep the level high
Exclude chores and narrow habits; retain only principles capable of guiding many decisions.
- 4
Compress and review
Keep the list short, revisit it regularly, and invoke the relevant commandment when making a difficult choice.
Pro tip Memorable wording matters because the list must be available without searching for it.
In the wild
Rubin's first commandment reminds her to accept what is genuinely true about her while still expecting more from herself.
→ The phrase checks choices that fit an admired image but not her actual nature.
Because Rubin tends to keep score, 'no calculation' reminds her to give, act generously, and do the right thing without counting returns.
→ A recurring personal weakness is met with a compact counter-principle.
Common mistakes
Writing a task list
Concrete routines belong in habit tracking; commandments must be broad enough to guide many situations.
Borrowing another person's identity
A polished principle that is not true for you cannot reliably guide your choices.
Is it for you?
Best for
Reflective people who want a compact personal decision compass.
Not ideal for
Tracking concrete habits, deadlines, or measurable project plans.
From the transcript
“these are like the overarching principles that I try to use to guide my life”
“these twelve personal Commandments are really fun as a way to try to distill your own kind of worldview into a very simple list and…”
From the episode
Gretchen Rubin: The Dirty Secret of Happiness
Gretchen Rubin