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InfluenceDeepa Purushothaman

Power of Me and Power of We

Define success personally, then build collective power to change structures

Difficulty
Advanced
Time to result
~ongoing to results
Steps
5
Confidence
96%

Power of Me and Power of We is a two-level model of change. The Me layer asks a person to define success, happiness, identity, and power for themselves rather than inheriting those definitions from family, school, or work. That creates agency, but it cannot by itself redesign a workplace. The We layer brings peers together in recurring, honest conversation so they can compare experiences, imagine alternatives, and see one another make consequential asks. Visibility changes perceived possibility: when one member requests more pay, earns a promotion, or leaves a poor fit, others gain evidence that they can act too. The model therefore moves from personal clarity to collective voice and then to structural pressure, while avoiding the fantasy that one exceptional individual can change a system alone.

Origin

Purushothaman articulated the model through her book and In Formation community, where members' shared visibility prompted requests for pay, promotions, and job changes.

Core principles

  • 01Personal power begins with a self-authored definition of success
  • 02Individual insight alone cannot redesign a structure
  • 03Seeing peers act expands what people believe they can ask for
  • 04Collective voice increases agency without requiring a single saviour

How to run it

  1. 1

    Define the Me

    Write what success, happiness, and power mean to you without using inherited definitions. Identify what makes you who you are and what you believe for yourself.

    Watch out Do not mistake a family or employer expectation for your own preference.

  2. 2

    Find the We

    Gather peers with related experiences in a group small or large enough for honest conversation. Make participation recurring rather than a one-off event.

    Pro tip A trusted group of friends can be as useful as a formal community.

    Watch out Without safety, members will repeat acceptable answers rather than share useful truth.

  3. 3

    Compare realities

    Share what is happening, what each person has tried, and what outcomes followed. Look for repeated barriers and overlooked possibilities.

  4. 4

    Expand the ask

    Use peers' examples to make an action you might not attempt alone, such as asking for pay, seeking promotion, or leaving a poor fit. Keep the action aligned with your Me definition.

    Pro tip Record asks and outcomes so possibility becomes visible evidence.

    Watch out Do not copy another member's goal if it conflicts with your own definition of success.

  5. 5

    Coordinate structural change

    Translate repeated needs into shared proposals, mutual support, or collective pressure. Use the group's combined voice where individual effort cannot alter the structure.

    Watch out Collective support does not remove the need to assess personal risk.

In the wild

Visibility changes what members ask for

A quarter into In Formation's existence, the community polled its members. Purushothaman reported that 25 percent had asked for more pay, left a job, or received a promotion after seeing and talking with one another rather than because of a special lesson from the founders.

Peer visibility expanded members' sense of agency and prompted concrete career actions.

Common mistakes

Stopping at personal empowerment

Individual clarity can improve choices but cannot by itself change a structure. Build relationships and collective voice around repeated barriers.

Letting the group define your success

Collective power should support self-authored goals, not replace one set of external expectations with another.

Is it for you?

Best for

It is best for people who need both a stronger internal definition of power and peer support to act on systemic barriers.

Not ideal for

It is not ideal for groups that gather without psychological safety, shared purpose, or willingness to act.

From the transcript

the power of me is that work i talked about the shedding and the caring figuring out for you what success is and what happiness…

Deepa Purushothaman · 57:30

the power of we is this idea that we can't change structures by ourselves

Deepa Purushothaman · 58:00

that's the collective power i think it gives you voice and ability to maybe even ask for more than you would ask for on your…

Deepa Purushothaman · 58:30

From the episode

Deepa Purushothaman: Redefining Power In Corporate America

Deepa Purushothaman