Put Responsibility Where It Belongs
You cannot make decisions for people — lay out the landscape and hand it back.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 86%
Shull observed that salespeople feel they cannot raise a problem without a solution in hand — so they avoid it, sugarcoat it, spin it, or edit the truth. The alternative is simpler: you don't need the solution. Label how the person is thinking and feeling, keep labeling to defuse the negative emotion, then lay out the landscape — here's what's going on, here are the options, here are the consequences — and put it back on them: how would you like to proceed? When a home isn't selling, it's because the seller won't lower the price or stage properly, yet the agent somehow takes it all on themselves. The Full Fee Agent devotes a chapter to this. Responsibility belongs on the decision maker, and only they can decide.
Origin
Shull developed this from decades coaching real estate agents who blamed themselves for unsold listings that were unsold because the seller refused to price or stage correctly. It became a chapter in The Full Fee Agent.
Core principles
- 01You don't have the ability to make decisions for people — only they can.
- 02You don't need a solution to discuss a problem; you need a label.
- 03Responsibility belongs on the decision maker.
- 04Lay out the landscape, the options, and the consequences — then ask how they'd like to proceed.
How to run it
- 1
Drop the solution requirement
Stop believing you can't discuss a problem without a fix. That belief is what drives avoidance, sugarcoating, spin, and edited truth.
Watch out Editing the truth to protect someone is the failure mode, not the kindness.
- 2
Label until the negativity drains
Name how they're thinking and feeling, repeatedly. Sustained labeling defuses negative emotion and gives them room to process on their own.
- 3
Lay out the landscape
State plainly: here's what's going on, here are the options, here are the consequences. Information without a recommendation.
- 4
Hand the decision back
Ask: 'How would you like to proceed?' The decision was always theirs — this simply returns it, and with it the responsibility.
Pro tip This also satisfies the autonomy truth: they keep control, so they don't fight you.
In the wild
A home isn't selling because the seller won't lower the price, won't stage properly, or won't do the things required. Yet the agent takes it all on themselves as a failure to do their job — and agents do this constantly.
→ Shull's correction: lay out the situation, the options, and the consequences, then ask the seller how they'd like to proceed — placing responsibility on the only person who can actually decide.
Common mistakes
Believing you must solve every problem
Most salespeople think they've got to solve all the problems. You don't — and you can't, because you have no ability to make decisions for other people.
Absorbing blame for someone else's decision
Taking the client's non-decision onto yourself as a service failure trains them to keep not deciding while you keep working harder for the same unsold outcome.
Is it for you?
Best for
Agents, consultants, account managers, and coaches who carry client problems they cannot solve.
Not ideal for
Situations where the failure genuinely is yours, or roles where you are contractually the decision maker.
From the transcript
“You don't need to have the problem. All you need to do is label how someone is thinking and feeling. And if you keep labeling,…”
“When there's a problem, what you need to do is lay out the landscape. Here's what's going on, here are the options, here are the…”
“You don't have the ability to make decisions for people. Only they can make decisions... put responsibility where it belongs.”
From the episode
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