The Relativity Decision Filter
Route decisions through your values and the people most affected by them.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 88%
The Relativity Decision Filter starts by ranking who and what is closest to you, then applies your values to that chain. Meltzer places his wife first, followed by children, family, community, state, country, and world, and distributes what he has accordingly. The point is not to ignore distant people; it is to create greater leverage by first influencing those you can affect most, who can then influence others. Before deciding, identify personal and experiential values plus what you give and receive. Then remove scarcity, victimhood, and ego from the frame and choose the path that allows resources and impact to flow through you toward the most relevant people.
Origin
Meltzer developed the idea while asking how he could impact more than a billion people. He concluded that direct reach was impossible, but a thousand ambassadors influencing a thousand people each could multiply impact outward, beginning with the people already most relative to him.
Core principles
- 01Every person and influence is relative to you in some way.
- 02Values should govern decisions before urgency or ego does.
- 03Those most relative to you deserve the greatest share of your resources.
- 04Impact can multiply through people who influence others.
- 05Abundance replaces victim and narcissistic frames with service.
How to run it
- 1
Build the relativity chain
List everyone affected and rank them from most to least relative to you. Use actual responsibilities and influence, not social status.
Pro tip Start with the people whose outcomes you can directly change.
- 2
Name the governing values
Write down the personal and experiential values involved, along with the value you intend to give and receive.
Watch out A priority list without values can rationalize selfishness rather than guide service.
- 3
Distribute by relevance
Assign time, money, and attention first to the people most relative to the decision, then work outward.
Pro tip Use explicit percentages when competing demands repeatedly create ambiguity.
- 4
Remove the ego frame
Check whether you are treating events as happening to you, for you alone, or through you for others. Reframe toward service and abundance.
Watch out Victim and narcissistic frames both corrupt value-based decisions.
- 5
Choose for multiplied impact
Prefer the choice that helps the closest capable people create further positive effects through their own networks.
Pro tip Look for ambassadors, not only direct beneficiaries.
In the wild
A founder cannot advise every applicant. She ranks current team members and existing mentees above unknown inbound requests, identifies development and service as governing values, and reserves most mentoring time for those groups. She still offers a short public resource to the wider audience, allowing useful guidance to travel beyond her direct capacity.
→ Her limited time strengthens the people she can influence most while still creating broader leverage.
Common mistakes
Treating everyone as equally relative
Equal concern does not create equal responsibility or influence. Refusing to rank relationships leaves resources governed by whoever asks loudest.
Using relativity to justify selfishness
The chain is paired with giving values and service. Ranking yourself or allies first without that check removes the framework's mechanism.
Is it for you?
Best for
Leaders and individuals allocating limited time, money, or influence across family, team, community, and wider causes.
Not ideal for
Emergency or legal decisions where fixed duties override a personal priority ranking.
From the transcript
“I actually put percentages in the distribution of what I have in order to allow everything to go through me to those that are most…”
“most people that make good decisions their value based decisions”
“everything comes through me for others”
From the episode
YAPClassic: David Meltzer, A Masterclass on Decision-Making for Championship-Level Businesses
YAPClassic