Rewrite Your Script
Turn a triggering story into curiosity, alliance, and positive action
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 99%
Rewrite Your Script separates an external trigger from the internal story that determines what happens next. First identify the person, comment, or event that stirred the emotional response. Write down the immediate explanation and ask whether it supplies a path to useful action; stories built around permanent unfairness, theft, or exclusion often produce only rumination or gossip. Generate a plausible alternative that gives the other person the benefit of your goodwill without claiming certainty—for example, that they may not have heard you or intended to amplify your point. Use that alternative to become curious and take a constructive engagement step. The method does not prove the other person innocent or require passivity. It creates a testable path forward while preserving the option to revise the story when new evidence appears.
Origin
In Rising Together, Helgesen adapted the trigger concept from Marshall Goldsmith and focused on the stories people tell afterward. Her meeting example turns apparent idea theft into a possible alliance conversation.
Core principles
- 01The trigger is real but the first story is not certain
- 02A story that offers no action keeps you stuck
- 03Curiosity creates alternatives to resentment
- 04Goodwill can turn a presumed adversary into an ally
How to run it
- 1
Identify the trigger
Name the external event, person, or comment that produced the emotional reaction.
Pro tip Describe the observable event before interpreting motive.
- 2
Capture the first story
Write the explanation your mind immediately supplied and the action it encourages.
Watch out Do not confuse emotional certainty with evidence.
- 3
Check for stuckness
Ask whether the story leads to positive action or only rumination, resentment, and gossip.
Pro tip If there is no useful next move, the script is not serving you.
- 4
Generate a goodwill alternative
Create another plausible explanation that leaves room for misunderstanding, amplification, or shared intent.
Pro tip Use “maybe” language to preserve uncertainty.
Watch out Do not excuse a documented pattern of harmful conduct.
- 5
Engage constructively
Take one action that tests the alternative, such as inviting the person to continue the idea together.
Pro tip Reference the shared point directly and propose a concrete next step.
- 6
Update from evidence
Use the response and subsequent behavior to refine your interpretation and decide what to do next.
Watch out Escalate appropriately if the evidence confirms misconduct.
In the wild
A contributor shares an idea that receives no response; later, a senior colleague repeats it and wins praise. Instead of settling on “he stole my idea,” she writes that he may have missed her comment or wanted to amplify it. She messages him, notes their agreement, and proposes developing the idea together.
→ The ambiguous slight becomes a testable opportunity for recognition and alliance.
Common mistakes
Treating reframing as surrender
A better script is a device for your own action, not a declaration that the other person's behavior was acceptable.
Choosing a fake certainty
The replacement story should be plausible and curious, not another unsupported claim presented as truth.
Is it for you?
Best for
People navigating ambiguous slights, recognition disputes, or interpersonal triggers in diverse workplaces.
Not ideal for
Clear abuse, discrimination, fraud, or safety violations that require evidence preservation and formal action.
From the transcript
“the trigger isn't what keeps us stuck so so much as the story that keeps us stuck”
“rewriting your script is is really a device for yourself to help you take more positive action”
“you just get a little bit curious is probably a good way to put it”
From the episode
Sally Helgesen: How Inclusion and Visionary Leadership Fuel Innovation at Work
Sally Helgesen