Shedding and Carrying
Release inherited messages and carry forward the beliefs that serve you
- Difficulty
- Advanced
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 94%
Shedding and Carrying is an inner-work model for changing inherited beliefs. Begin by getting quiet enough to notice the repeated messages that appear during stressful situations. Journaling, walking, storytelling, and feedback from a trusted partner can expose phrases learned from family, school, media, or culture. Once a message is visible, decide whether it supports the life and definition of success you actually want. Shed what no longer serves you and carry forward what does. Reprogramming may use meditation, coaching, or other outside resources, but those tools work only after the underlying message has been named. The framework is ongoing because old beliefs tend to reappear under pressure; each recurrence becomes another chance to identify, question, and rewrite them.
Origin
Purushothaman derived the model from interviews with women of color and patterns in the childhood messages that resurfaced for them during stressful professional situations.
Core principles
- 01Stress reveals old messages that everyday life can conceal
- 02Inherited beliefs are not automatically true or useful
- 03Awareness must precede reprogramming
- 04Useful messages should be carried forward deliberately
How to run it
- 1
Create quiet
Use journaling, writing, walking in nature, or another reflective practice to hear your own thoughts without constant external input.
Pro tip Repeat the practice; recurring themes are more informative than one unusual thought.
- 2
Catch the stress message
Pay close attention to the sentence that plays in your head when you feel threatened, judged, or overwhelmed. Also notice repeated phrases that trusted people hear you say.
Pro tip Record the wording immediately so you do not soften it later.
Watch out Do not treat a familiar message as a fact merely because it feels automatic.
- 3
Trace the source
Ask where and when you first learned the message. Family, school, media, and workplace conditioning may all contribute.
Watch out Understanding the source is not the same as assigning blame.
- 4
Choose what serves you
Compare the inherited message with your own definition of success, happiness, and identity. Mark it for shedding if it constrains rather than supports that definition.
Pro tip Write a replacement belief in language you would genuinely use.
- 5
Reprogram deliberately
Use meditation, coaching, reflection, or another suitable resource to rehearse the replacement belief. Return to the process when stress revives the old script.
Watch out Insight without repeated practice rarely changes an automatic response.
In the wild
A manager notices that every difficult presentation triggers the thought that she is not smart enough. Journaling traces the wording to childhood criticism. She marks the belief for shedding, replaces it with evidence of how she prepares and learns, and rehearses that message with a coach before future presentations.
→ The old thought becomes a signal to use the new response rather than proof that she should withdraw.
Common mistakes
Trying to reprogram an unnamed belief
Generic confidence work cannot target a message you have not identified. Capture the recurring words first.
Keeping every inherited definition
Family or cultural definitions of success may be meaningful without being right for your life. Evaluate each rather than accepting or rejecting all of them together.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for people who notice recurring self-critical thoughts during pressure, conflict, or ambitious work.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal as a replacement for qualified clinical care when distress is severe or persistent.
From the transcript
“i call that work shedding and carrying shedding what doesn't serve you and carrying forward messages that do”
“most of us have learned about six to 12 messages in childhood that come up for us when we're in stressful situations”
“the first work that you have to do is really know what they are for you”
From the episode
Deepa Purushothaman: Redefining Power In Corporate America
Deepa Purushothaman