Take Up Space
Don't be a wallflower — the room is the smartest person in the room, and you're in it for a reason.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 82%
Asked for her single piece of advice to a millennial looking to succeed at work, Silver gives a short stack. First: take up space. Don't be a wallflower, and don't just sit there as the note-taker unless that is your actual job. Second: ask as many questions as you can and speak up, because leaders today need to be listening a whole lot more and they will listen if you speak. Third: don't be afraid and don't think you're dumb — everyone is figuring things out, and there is no one smarter than anyone else. She compresses it with a riddle: who's the smartest person in the room? Everyone looks around wondering if it's them. The answer is that the room is the smartest person in the room.
Origin
Silver spends her days with millennials at VaynerMedia and watches them shrink in rooms with senior people. Her own history — dyslexic, dropped out of university at 19, hid her sexuality at work into her thirties — is the counter-evidence she's drawing on when she tells people they aren't dumb and no one is smarter than anyone else.
Core principles
- 01Don't be a wallflower — don't default to the note-taker unless that's genuinely the job.
- 02Ask as many questions as you can; leaders today need to be listening more and will listen if you speak.
- 03No one is smarter than anyone else — everyone is figuring things out.
- 04The room is the smartest person in the room; the value is learning from one another.
- 05Add value — and if you don't know how to add value, ask.
How to run it
- 1
Take up space
Be big. Don't be a wallflower. Don't quietly become the note-taker unless someone has asked you to take the notes and do something with them.
Pro tip Hala Taha's addition: if you're in a meeting with higher-up executives, you're there for a reason — bring your value to the table.
Watch out The note-taker default feels helpful. It is how you disappear.
- 2
Ask questions and speak up
Ask as many questions as you can. Leaders today need to be listening a whole lot more, and they will listen if you speak up.
- 3
Drop the 'I'm dumb' story
Don't be afraid and don't think you are dumb. Everyone is figuring things out; no one is smarter than anyone else.
Pro tip Silver's riddle: ask who's the smartest person in the room and everyone looks around hoping it's them. The room is the smartest person in the room.
- 4
Add value, or ask how
Make sure you're being heard and adding value. If you don't know how to add value, ask — that question is itself value.
In the wild
Silver poses the riddle: who's the smartest person in the room? Everyone looks around wondering whether it's them or her. The fact, she says, is that the room is the smartest person in the room — so it's all about learning from one another.
→ Reframes the meeting from a competence contest you might lose into a shared resource you're obliged to contribute to.
Common mistakes
Volunteering as the silent note-taker
Silver names this exactly: don't just sit there and be the note-taker unless that is your job. It reads as helpfulness and functions as invisibility.
Closing off around older or more senior people
Hala Taha notes people close off in companies with older workers or in rooms with executives. But you're in the room for a reason, and not bringing it wastes the invitation.
Is it for you?
Best for
Early-career professionals, especially in meetings with more senior or older colleagues.
Not ideal for
Cultures where speaking up is genuinely punished, or people already dominating airtime — the advice inverts into a liability.
From the transcript
“what I usually say is take up space which means I don't be a Wallflower do not just sit there and be the note-taker unless…”
“ask as many questions and speak up because leaders today need to be listening a whole lot more and they'll listen if you speak up”
“the fact is the room is the smartest person in the room so it's all about learning from one another”
“add value obviously and if you don't know how to add value ask”
From the episode
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Claude Silver