Ten-Minute Gut Check
Pause before confronting harm, then act if the discomfort remains
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 97%
The Ten-Minute Gut Check turns an uncomfortable reaction into a bounded communication decision. First notice the queasy, uneasy, or angry response that follows an inappropriate comment. Rather than reacting instantly or forcing yourself to ignore it, wait ten minutes. If the feeling passes, you may decide that intervention is unnecessary. If you are still boiling or cannot focus on the current conversation, return to the remark and say what bothered you and why. The pause reduces impulsive escalation while the time limit prevents endless suppression. Prepared phrases make the method easier to use and also help allies intervene instead of leaving all correction to the person targeted. Serious or dangerous incidents still need immediate or formal action.
Origin
Purushothaman developed the rule after finding immediate reactions draining and repeatedly regretting the occasions when she let harmful comments go unaddressed.
Core principles
- 01Physical unease can signal that a boundary was crossed
- 02A short pause can improve the response without erasing the issue
- 03Persistent discomfort deserves intervention
- 04Prepared language reduces paralysis when harm occurs
How to run it
- 1
Notice the signal
Register the physical or emotional discomfort created by the comment. Treat the reaction as information rather than dismissing it.
Watch out Do not use the pause when immediate safety action is necessary.
- 2
Pause for ten minutes
Delay the response briefly while you continue listening and choose useful language. The pause is for regulation, not avoidance.
Pro tip Write a few words down if you might lose the exact remark.
- 3
Run the persistence test
After ten minutes, ask whether you are still upset or unable to focus. Persistent discomfort is the trigger to intervene.
Watch out Do not keep extending the deadline merely because the conversation feels awkward.
- 4
Return and explain
Go back to the comment, state that it hurt or bothered you, and explain why it did not work for you. Keep the focus on the specific words and impact.
Pro tip Practise a sentence such as: what you just said hurt me; here is why.
- 5
Share the correction burden
When you are an ally who heard the remark, use the same process and speak up. Do not expect the targeted person to correct every incident alone.
Watch out Intervening should support the affected person, not turn the ally into the centre of attention.
In the wild
A colleague makes an identity-based remark during a meeting. The listener feels uneasy but waits ten minutes rather than responding in anger. When the discomfort still prevents her from following the discussion, she pauses the meeting, returns to the exact remark, and explains its impact.
→ The issue is addressed the same day with a deliberate response rather than either an impulsive attack or silent resentment.
Common mistakes
Turning the pause into avoidance
The method has a decision point. If the discomfort persists, return to the issue instead of waiting indefinitely.
Making the target do all the work
Allies should prepare to respond too. Correction cannot always fall on the person harmed.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for workplace remarks that feel harmful but do not require an immediate safety response.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal when someone faces imminent danger, severe misconduct, or a situation requiring formal escalation.
From the transcript
“if something in your gut like just someone said something it just feels like queasy or uneasy lean into that”
“i know when i need to say something and do something”
From the episode
Deepa Purushothaman: Redefining Power In Corporate America
Deepa Purushothaman