Think Before You Emoji
Emojis are the new facial expressions — deploy them by reading power dynamic and trust.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 85%
Because written channels remove tone, Dhawan frames emojis as the modern equivalent of facial expressions when a real face isn't available. Her rule is simple: think before you emoji by reading your audience through two questions — what is the power dynamic between us, and how much do we trust each other? With new, low-trust, or high-power-gap contacts, err toward formality and lay off the emojis until they lead; where there's little power gap or long-standing trust, use them freely. She extends the principle to all punctuation, noting a period at the end of a text can read as passive-aggressive to digital natives who grew up in instant-messaging culture, while digital 'adapters' read it as correct grammar.
Origin
Dhawan drew on the generational gap between 'digital natives' and 'digital adapters' — including her own father, whose texts open 'Dear Erica' and close 'Love Dad' — to show that emoji and punctuation meaning is not universal and must be read in context.
Core principles
- 01Emojis are the new facial expressions when a real face isn't visible.
- 02Calibrate emoji use by two questions: what is the power dynamic, and how much trust exists?
- 03Err toward formality with new, low-trust, or high-power-gap contacts; mirror in once they signal informality.
- 04Punctuation carries tone — a period can read as passive-aggressive to digital natives.
How to run it
- 1
Read the power dynamic
Assess whether this is a new contact or someone with a big authority gap. If so, err toward formality and hold back on emojis in the first interactions.
Pro tip If they start using emojis, you can jump into that informal chemistry.
- 2
Read the trust level
Gauge how long and how well you've known the person. With high, long-standing trust, use emojis freely when it feels authentic; with low trust, stay formal first.
- 3
Mind the punctuation tone
Recognize that punctuation carries emotional signal — a trailing period can feel harsh to digital natives, while a quick smiley conveys the approval a face would.
Pro tip A quick emoji is the new smile for digital-native employees who aren't seeing your face.
Watch out A period at the end of a text can be read as passive aggression by digital natives.
In the wild
Many leaders who had never used emojis started during the pandemic because they realized it was much harder to convey positive tone, a smile, or appreciation to a hardworking team they rarely saw in person.
→ A quick smiley face let digital-native employees know their work was valued and the tone was positive, replacing the warmth a period couldn't carry.
Common mistakes
Assuming punctuation and emoji mean the same to everyone
Digital natives and digital adapters read the same period or emoji completely differently, so context is everything just as it is in traditional body language.
Is it for you?
Best for
Leaders and anyone communicating across generations and trust levels who needs to convey positive tone in text.
Not ideal for
Highly formal or first-contact professional exchanges where informality would undercut credibility.
From the transcript
“My general rule of thumb here is to simply think before you emoji. So know your audience... The first, what is the power dynamic between…”
From the episode
Erica Dhawan: Digital Body Language, Effective Communication Strategies for the Digital Age
Erica Dhawan