The Three F's: Farm It, Fix It, or Forget It
Every weakness gets sorted into one of three buckets — then you stop dwelling and move on.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 85%
Cohen's Three F's framework gives you three — and only three — ways to handle any weakness: fix it, farm it out (delegate to elevate), or forget it. Fixing means improving the weakness; farming means delegating it to someone better suited; forgetting means accepting it and consciously refusing to let it slow you down. The point is to place each weakness into a bucket rather than letting it sit as an unresolved weight on your shoulders. Once sorted, you're free to lean into your strengths and stop letting flaws dictate your decisions.
Origin
Cohen hated her nose as a kid and as an adult, feeling it made her ugly. She couldn't farm it out or fix it, so she eventually chose to forget it — and once she did, it stopped slowing her down and she never let it stop her from asking out someone she liked again.
Core principles
- 01A perceived weakness only holds you back if you let it become dead weight.
- 02Every weakness has exactly three valid responses: fix it, farm it out, or forget it.
- 03Forgetting means accepting it and refusing to let it slow you down.
- 04Dwelling is not one of the options.
- 05Once sorted, lean into your strengths instead of being ruled by weaknesses.
How to run it
- 1
Identify the weakness honestly
Pinpoint the specific thing about yourself or your situation you feel is weak and that keeps weighing on you.
- 2
Try to fix it
If the weakness is something you can improve through effort or skill-building, commit to fixing it.
- 3
Farm it out if you can't fix it
Delegate the weakness to someone better suited — 'delegate to elevate' — so it's handled without you carrying it.
Pro tip Delegating a weakness frees you to spend time on your strengths.
- 4
Forget it if you can't fix or farm it
Accept the weakness for what it is, move on, and consciously refuse to let it act as a weight on your shoulders.
Watch out Forgetting is active acceptance, not suppression — don't let the thing keep running in the background of your head.
In the wild
Cohen spent years feeling ugly because of her nose. It wasn't something she could farm out, and she didn't fix it, so she was left with only one option — forget it.
→ Once she forgot about it, it never slowed her down again, and she started asking out anyone she liked instead of waiting to be asked.
Common mistakes
Letting one flaw dictate your whole life
People let a single thing they dislike about themselves stop them from pursuing a job, a person, or an opportunity, instead of bucketing it and moving on.
Choosing a fourth option: dwelling
Endlessly ruminating on a weakness is not one of the three F's. Dwelling keeps the weight on your shoulders instead of resolving it.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone paralysed by an insecurity or weakness they keep dwelling on.
Not ideal for
Weaknesses that are genuinely dangerous or unethical to simply 'forget' rather than address.
From the transcript
“these three F's, which is this, farm it, fix it, or forget it, right? Versus just dwelling.”
“if you can kind of like find these pillars or compartments to place these weaknesses... and then let yourself kind of move past them”
From the episode
Jennifer Cohen: Bigger, Better, Bolder. How to Get the Life You Want by Being Bold
Jennifer Cohen