The Three Lily Pads
I'm fine → zone of genius → dharma. You have to swim, and swimming means not knowing.
- Difficulty
- Advanced
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 84%
Stahl models careers as three lily pads with water between them. Pad one is 'I'm fine' — where most people sit, which is why 71% of the workforce is disengaged, job hunting, or starting businesses. Pad two is the zone of genius, and getting there is explicitly an experiment, not a decision. Pad three is dharma: rare, not better, and reached only by people willing to swim repeatedly and sit in the unknown. The failure mode is the temptation mid-swim to cling to something for the sake of having a plan, which sends you completely off course. She spent two to three years in a season of 'I don't know' before the TED speechwriting business emerged.
Origin
Stahl says she wrote U-Turn from the third lily pad. She let her business simmer like a crock-pot through a two-to-three-year season of not knowing, refusing to force ideas on herself, until she realised she wanted to write TED talks — after which it was floodgates. She credits Joe Dispenza's quantum-field idea: the offering was always on the shelf, but she could only pull it down once she was ready.
Core principles
- 01Lily pad one is 'I'm fine' — where the majority of the workforce sits, bills paid, not thinking about it.
- 02Lily pad two is your zone of genius — the one Stahl works to bring people to.
- 03Lily pad three is dharma — rarer, not better, and not everyone gets there.
- 04The water between pads is the experiment, and you cannot skip it.
- 05Clinging to something for the sake of having a plan is what strands people mid-swim.
- 06Once you're on pad two, career becomes a game of yes or no.
How to run it
- 1
Locate yourself
Decide which pad you're on. Pad one is 'I'm fine' — maybe you don't love it, but the bills are paid and you don't want to think about it. Most of the population is here.
- 2
Declare the experiment out loud
Say it: I'm in an experiment, I'm in the in-between, I'm trying things on. This framing is what makes the swim survivable.
Pro tip The cost of admission of a fulfilling life is to make mistakes — accept them as part of the process without making yourself wrong for them.
Watch out There is a lot of temptation to cling onto things for the sake of having something, for the sake of having a plan. It's distracting and it sends you completely off.
- 3
Try things on at whatever scale fits
Trying on ranges from listening to podcasts, reading books, and talking to people, up to taking a job and moving to a new city. All of it is trial and error.
Pro tip Run the downside math before agonising: what does the lease cost you, what's the raise, what if you hate it, what's in savings?
- 4
Let the business simmer
Don't force ideas on yourself. Keep only the services that resonate and let the rest low-simmer until the real one surfaces.
Pro tip Stahl took years. The difference between her and the people who never figure it out was that she didn't force ideas upon herself.
- 5
Play yes/no from pad two
Once locked into your core skill set, career becomes a game of filtering opportunities as yes or no. Opportunities are just as abundant as they are distracting.
Pro tip If people aren't noticing your gift and you feel stuck, create more opportunities — get out there and talk to people.
In the wild
A San Francisco client agonised over a Berlin offer. Stahl coached him through the downside math instead of the decision: you lose $5,000 on the lease, the raise is $50,000, if you hate it you pack up and come back, and here's your savings runway.
→ He realised it wasn't that big a deal, went to try it on, ended up loving it, and it transformed his career.
Stahl spent two to three years in a season of not knowing, letting her coaching business simmer, refusing to force an idea. Her TED talk had been in the top 100 for years and she'd written talks for a few coaching clients, but offering it as a service wasn't an option for her five years earlier.
→ She pulled it off the shelf and it became floodgates — 40 TED speeches written in a year, 39 people put on stage, plus booking via a partner booker.
Common mistakes
Grabbing a plan mid-swim
Clinging to something for the sake of having something is the distraction that sends you completely off course between pad one and pad two. Comfort with a plan is not the same as being on the right pad.
Treating every opportunity as progress
Opportunities are just as abundant as they are distracting. Without a named skill set to filter against, opportunity flow is noise.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone stuck in a tolerable job, and companies trying to reassign employees rather than lose them.
Not ideal for
Someone with no financial runway for an extended experimental season.
From the transcript
“I see careers as if it's three lily pads. So, the first lily pad, I think a lot of people are on it, which is…”
“There's a lot of temptation to cling onto things for the sake of having something, for the sake of having a plan. That is very…”
“Once you know your core skill set, life becomes a game of yes or no.”
“The cost of admission of a fulfilling life is to make mistakes.”
From the episode
Ashley Stahl: The Road to Self-Discovery, Uncover Your Core Skills and Values for Career Success
Ashley Stahl