The Three Pillars of Leadership
Leadership is service. Power is self. Know which one you're doing.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 91%
Dreeke frames leadership and power as a dichotomy rather than a spectrum: power is about self, control and looking good; leadership is being of service to others. You need some laws of power to gain the title and position, but once you have it you must shut power off and lead. His three pillars are accomplishing goals, missions, objectives and priorities; creating an environment that is physically, emotionally and psychologically safe so innovation is possible; and being a resource for the success and prosperity of others without expectation of reciprocity. The last is the hardest — it means helping the person who wants to leave get their next job. Underneath it all, leaders are problem solvers.
Origin
Dreeke was labelled a leader in high school for being a popular football player and club president, and carried that misdefinition into the Marine Corps — where he was ranked last out of every second lieutenant at Cherry Point. His major told him simply: 'you just need to make it about everyone else but yourself.' That set the gauntlet for the rest of his life.
Core principles
- 01Leadership is about others, not self. Power and popularity are about self.
- 02Leadership and power are a dichotomy — you need some power to earn the opportunity to lead, then you must shut it off.
- 03Generosity without expectation of reciprocity is the bedrock.
- 04Leadership is not about liking someone; you help the person walking out the door get their next job.
- 05Leaders are problem solvers. If you don't like problems, stay out of leadership.
How to run it
- 1
Diagnose whether you're doing power or leadership
Ask whether your behaviour is about you looking good and being in control (power/popularity), or about being of service to others (leadership). Popularity is nothing but power — look at me, look at me.
Pro tip Are you a 'me-former' on social media, or an informer and resource for others?
- 2
Use power to earn the seat, then switch it off
It takes incredible self-awareness to do what you need to do through popularity to gain the title and position — then recognise the moment you have it and shut it off, because now you lead.
Watch out In all dichotomies you can't sit at either extreme. Refusing all power means never getting the opportunity to lead.
- 3
Pillar one — accomplish goals, missions, objectives and priorities
That's what keeps organisations and individuals moving forward. The team has to know the path it's walking.
- 4
Pillar two — create a safe environment
Physically, emotionally and psychologically safe. Provide psychological comfort for everyone around you, because only then can innovation happen.
- 5
Pillar three — be a resource without expecting reciprocity
Be generous with resources and time, with no scorecard. There will be periods where people need more and periods where they need less.
Pro tip Instead of trying to make yourself look good at work, try to make everyone around you look good — then you're the one everyone wants to team with.
Watch out Even if someone doesn't like you and wants to walk out the door, a great leader helps them get the next job. Leadership isn't about liking someone.
In the wild
Dreeke arrived at his first Marine Corps duty station exercising the popular, outgoing personality that had always been rewarded, and was ranked last of every second lieutenant there. He asked his major what he'd done wrong and was told: be a better leader — make it about everyone else but yourself.
→ He spent the rest of his career learning to let go of power and popularity, ultimately running the FBI's behavioral analysis program for counterintelligence.
Dreeke nearly put Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power down five times because he didn't understand power. Working through it, he realised power describes the human condition — self, control, looking good — and is the dichotomy of leadership.
→ He arrived at a more usable position: exercise some laws of power to earn the opportunity, then shut it off and lead.
Common mistakes
Keeping a scorecard
Wanting something in return is what gets in the way. Relationships need a balance of being resources for each other non-judgmentally, without tallying.
Trying to look good yourself
Dreeke's advice to his 20-year-old self: instead of trying to make myself look good at work, I should have been trying to make everyone around me look good.
Mistaking self-reliance for sufficiency
High-achieving, self-actualized people think they can only rely on themselves — but you cannot achieve anything in life without relationships.
Is it for you?
Best for
New managers, high-achieving individual contributors moving into leadership, and anyone labelled a leader because they were popular.
Not ideal for
Roles where authority must be exercised unilaterally and continuously, or people unwilling to solve other people's problems.
From the transcript
“i have my three pillars of leadership are pretty simple one we accomplish goals missions and objectives and priorities ... two we create a safe…”
“popularity is nothing but power because popularity is about self it's about look at me look at me look at me”
“leaders are problem solvers if you don't like problems stay out of leadership”
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