Three Word Exercise
Collect repeated three-word descriptions to reveal your distinctive reputation
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 99%
The Three Word Exercise is Dorie Clark's low-friction method for seeing your reputation through other people's eyes. Over several days, ask roughly half a dozen friends or colleagues the same question: if they could describe you in only three words, what would those words be? Record the answers without arguing or explaining. After the fourth, fifth, and sixth responses, repeated themes should become visible. The value is usually not a shocking revelation; it is learning which familiar traits other people regard as most distinctive and memorable. That pattern gives you an outside-in baseline for personal branding or reinvention. Because respondents may soften criticism, the result should be treated as a map of salient traits rather than a complete performance review.
Origin
Dorie Clark introduced the exercise in her book Reinventing You as a low-key way to gather reputation feedback.
Core principles
- 01You cannot fully see yourself through other people's eyes
- 02Repeated descriptions reveal reputation patterns
- 03The useful signal is what others perceive as most distinctive
- 04Positive feedback may conceal an over-applied strength
How to run it
- 1
Select six observers
Choose about half a dozen colleagues or friends who have seen you in relevant situations. Include enough perspectives to reveal repetition rather than relying on one person's view.
Pro tip Gather responses over a few days so each person answers independently.
Watch out A highly similar group may produce a narrow picture of you.
- 2
Ask one fixed question
Ask each person, “if you had to describe me in only three words what would they be.” Keep the wording stable so the responses are comparable.
Pro tip Present it as a quick exercise to reduce pressure.
Watch out Do not lead respondents toward traits you hope to hear.
- 3
Record without defending
Write down all three words from every person. Resist explaining your intent or debating whether a word is accurate.
Pro tip Capture the exact words before interpreting them.
Watch out Immediate defensiveness can distort later responses.
- 4
Find repeated traits
After several responses, group identical or closely related words and identify the strongest patterns. Pay attention to what stands out across different observers.
Pro tip Look for conceptual repetition, not only exact vocabulary matches.
Watch out Do not over-weight one unusual response.
- 5
Define your reputation baseline
Translate the repeated traits into a concise statement of how people currently remember you. Use that baseline to decide what to preserve, clarify, or change.
Pro tip Compare the baseline with the identity you want your behavior to communicate.
Watch out Positive words may still hide weaknesses when taken to an extreme.
In the wild
A manager asks six colleagues for three words. Different people repeatedly use “calm,” “clear,” and “reliable.” None of the words surprises her, but the repetition shows that calm clarity is what others remember most, so she makes it central to how she explains her leadership value.
→ She grounds her personal brand in a distinctive pattern observed by other people.
Common mistakes
Asking only one person
One answer is an opinion; the method depends on repeated patterns across several observers.
Expecting brutal criticism
Respondents often sugarcoat negative traits, so positive words should not be mistaken for a complete diagnostic.
Is it for you?
Best for
People refining a personal brand, planning a career shift, or checking how they currently come across.
Not ideal for
High-stakes performance assessment requiring anonymous, representative, or behavior-specific evidence.
From the transcript
“over the course of a few days you reach out to about half a dozen colleagues”
“if you had to describe me in only three words what would they be”
“you're going to start to see patterns as you get the fourth the fifth the sixth person telling you about yourself”
From the episode
Hala Taha: First Impressions & Nail Your First Impressions
Hala Taha