The To-Be List
Stop writing what to do and start writing who to be — then let it filter every decision.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 80%
The To-Be List is Zahrai's identity-first decision filter, offered as her single most actionable piece of advice. Instead of another to-do list, you write a to-be list: the qualities you aspire to embody — to be generous, loving, kind, someone who challenges the status quo, someone who makes an impact. Once written, it becomes a filter system: every decision is checked against whether it aligns with who you want to be. She frames it as the route to a 'profitable' life defined not by money but by fulfillment and constant growth.
Origin
Asked for the one thing listeners could do to become more profitable, Zahrai redefined profit as a fulfilling, growing life and offered the to-be list as the practical tool — a deliberate inversion of the ubiquitous to-do list.
Core principles
- 01We have enough to-dos; what's missing is clarity on who we want to be.
- 02Writing down aspirational qualities makes them explicit and usable.
- 03The to-be list becomes a filter for every decision you make.
- 04Profit is better defined as a fulfilling, growing life than as money alone.
- 05Alignment between actions and identity produces fulfillment.
How to run it
- 1
Write your to-be list
List the qualities you aspire to be — for example to be generous, loving, kind, someone who challenges the status quo, someone who makes a difference.
Pro tip Keep it explicitly a to-be list, not a to-do list — 'we have enough to-dos.'
- 2
Get clear and specific
Make the qualities concrete enough that you'd recognise them in your own behaviour, so the list is usable rather than vague aspiration.
- 3
Use it as a decision filter
For every decision you make, check whether it aligns with the qualities on your list; let the list, not impulse, arbitrate.
Pro tip Alignment between action and identity is what produces fulfillment.
- 4
Redefine profit for yourself
Define what a profitable life means for you beyond money — Zahrai's version is constant growth and fulfillment.
In the wild
Zahrai suggests writing 'to be generous, to be loving, to be kind, to be someone who challenges the status quo, to be someone who makes a difference and has an impact.'
→ The list becomes a filter every subsequent decision is measured against.
Asked for a profit tip, Zahrai declined to talk about money and instead framed profiting as living a more fulfilling life where you are constantly growing.
→ Reframes the goal so the to-be list, not income, becomes the success metric.
Common mistakes
Only ever managing to-dos
Optimising tasks without clarifying identity leads to a busy life that drifts away from who you actually want to become.
Equating profit solely with money
Defining success narrowly as income misses the fulfillment-and-growth definition that the to-be list is designed to serve.
Is it for you?
Best for
High achievers who feel productive yet disconnected from meaning and identity.
Not ideal for
Those needing concrete tactical execution rather than values clarification.
From the transcript
“Create your to-be list. Not your to-do list. We have enough to-dos.”
“Every decision that you make, make sure it aligns with that to be list. It becomes your filter system.”
From the episode
Shadé Zahrai: Confidence for High Performers, How to Unlock the Best Version of You
Shadé Zahrai