The Two Types of Boldness
Boldness isn't one umbrella — split it into social boldness and self-actualization boldness.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~months to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 80%
Cohen splits boldness into two categories: social boldness and self-actualization boldness. Social boldness is about getting what you want in your career, relationships, and connections — the extroverted, asking, relationship-building dimension. Self-actualization boldness is internal, about accomplishing something that grows you as a human, like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. The key insight is that boldness is not an umbrella trait: you can be bold in one area and not another. This lets you diagnose exactly where you need to grow and focus your practice there, rather than treating boldness as an all-or-nothing identity.
Origin
Cohen built a 'bold types' quiz to help readers find where they fit. She created the two-category model because she kept seeing people who were bold in one part of life yet timid in another, disproving the idea that you're simply bold or you're not.
Core principles
- 01Boldness is not an all-or-nothing umbrella trait.
- 02You can be bold in one area and timid in another.
- 03Social boldness governs relationships, career, and connections.
- 04Self-actualization boldness governs internal goals and growth.
- 05Target the specific type and area where you most need to grow.
How to run it
- 1
Reject the umbrella assumption
Understand that boldness isn't binary. You can be socially bold yet not self-actualized, or vice versa.
- 2
Assess your social boldness
Evaluate how well you ask for what you want in your career, relationships, and connections — the outward, relationship-building side.
- 3
Assess your self-actualization boldness
Evaluate how boldly you pursue internal, growth-oriented goals that make you more actualized as a person.
Pro tip Pick the pain point that most bothers you — maybe cold food doesn't matter, but emotional disconnection in a relationship does.
- 4
Target your weakest area
Choose the type and life area where you most want or need to be bolder, and concentrate your practice there instead of everywhere.
In the wild
Cohen contrasts caring about sending back cold food (a social-boldness triviality you might let slide) with tolerating a relationship that lacks emotional connectedness because you don't want to make a stir.
→ By locating your real pain point, you focus boldness where it actually matters instead of forcing it uniformly across every situation.
Common mistakes
Treating boldness as all-or-nothing
Believing you're either bold or you're not stops people from seeing that they can be confident in one domain and grow selectively in another.
Practicing boldness where it doesn't matter to you
Forcing yourself to make a stir over cold food while ignoring a genuinely unfulfilling relationship wastes effort on the wrong pain point.
Is it for you?
Best for
People who are confident in one domain but stuck in another and want to grow selectively.
Not ideal for
Those looking for a single one-size-fits-all bravery fix.
From the transcript
“I talk about two different bull nights. There's social boldness and self-actualization, boldness”
“you could be bold in one area of your life and not be bold in another area of your life. Not everything is an umbrella”
From the episode
Jennifer Cohen: Bigger, Better, Bolder. How to Get the Life You Want by Being Bold
Jennifer Cohen