Verb-Not-Noun Identity
You're not anxious; you're anxietying for a reason.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 85%
Borrowing from psychiatrist William Glasser, Delony argues you should refuse to say 'I have anxiety' or 'I am anxious' and instead say 'I am anxietying' or 'I am depressing'. The grammatical shift turns a fixed identity into a temporary action your body is performing to take care of you. That framing naturally raises the question of why your body thinks the environment isn't safe, which is a healthier and more actionable stance than carrying a broken-identity label. He ties this to a broader cultural over-medicalization that stamps people with labels and teaches them they're broken.
Origin
Delony credits the late psychiatrist Dr. William Glasser, who refused to let patients say 'I have anxiety' and made them say 'I am anxietying' instead, framing symptoms as actions the body takes to care for itself.
Core principles
- 01Turning a diagnosis into an identity ('I have anxiety') makes it the lens for every room you enter.
- 02Restating conditions as verbs ('I am anxietying') frames them as something your body is doing to protect you.
- 03Verbs invite the question of why, which points to a cause you can address.
- 04Labels tell you you're broken; verbs tell you your body is working on something.
How to run it
- 1
Catch the noun-label
Notice when you describe yourself with a fixed identity label such as 'I am anxious' or 'I have depression'.
Watch out Labels become the lens through which you view the whole world and the story that you're broken.
- 2
Convert it to a verb
Restate the label as an ongoing action: 'I am anxietying', 'I am depressing', 'I am compulsioning'.
- 3
Ask why your body is doing it
Treat the verb as evidence your body is trying to care for you, then investigate what environment or relationship it has flagged as unsafe.
In the wild
A student told Delony he was depressed because his dad had walked out on his mom. Delony stopped him and said what he described was sadness, and that he had no permission to simply be sad.
→ Reframing the state as grief rather than a disorder gave the student permission to feel it as a normal part of the human experience instead of a pathology.
Common mistakes
Entering every room through your diagnosis
When a label becomes your identity, it becomes the way you enter every room and the lens by which you view the world, reinforcing the sense that you're broken.
Is it for you?
Best for
People who have started introducing themselves through their diagnoses.
Not ideal for
Clinical settings where a formal diagnosis is genuinely needed for treatment and language games would delay care.
From the transcript
“Dr. William Glasser said he wouldn't let his patients say I have anxiety or I am anxious. He would make them say, I am anxietying…”
“My body is doing these things in an effort to take care of me. Let's get to the bottom of why my body thinks this…”
From the episode
Dr. John Delony: 6 Daily Choices to Break Free from Anxiety & Boost Wellness
Dr. John Delony