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LeadershipSally Helgesen

We-or-They Inclusion Test

Listen to pronouns to detect whether people experience belonging

Difficulty
Starter
Time to result
~days to results
Steps
5
Confidence
95%

The We-or-They Inclusion Test uses spontaneous pronoun choice as a quick indicator of belonging. Listen to how employees describe the organization in meetings, interviews, and everyday conversation. Frequent “we” language suggests they perceive themselves as part of the institution; recurring “they” language suggests distance and warrants investigation. Map where the shift occurs—by team, level, decision, or topic—then ask people what makes participation feel real or remote. Use the findings to choose a concrete inclusion improvement and listen for change over time. The test is intentionally simple: it converts an abstract culture goal into an observable signal. It should open inquiry rather than act as a score by itself, because people may use either pronoun for reasons unrelated to belonging.

Origin

Helgesen offers the pronoun test when leaders ask for an assessment of where their organization stands on inclusion, contrasting the language of “we” with the language of “they.”

Core principles

  • 01Diversity is a workforce reality rather than a destination
  • 02Inclusion is the method for leading diverse talent
  • 03Belonging appears in everyday language
  • 04A diagnostic signal should prompt inquiry, not replace it

How to run it

  1. 1

    Listen without prompting

    Gather natural language from ordinary conversations, meetings, and employee accounts rather than asking people to use a preferred term.

    Pro tip Capture the topic and context alongside the pronoun.

    Watch out Do not monitor individuals punitively.

  2. 2

    Classify the signal

    Note whether employees describe the organization as “we” or “they” and where each pattern appears.

    Watch out One sentence is not a culture verdict.

  3. 3

    Locate the distance

    Identify the decisions, teams, or experiences most associated with “they” language.

    Pro tip Look for patterns across multiple people.

  4. 4

    Ask what is missing

    Talk with employees about what would make them feel more included in those contexts.

    Pro tip Use open questions rather than defending current practice.

  5. 5

    Act and listen again

    Make one relevant change and repeat the listening process to see whether language and experience shift.

    Watch out Do not manufacture “we” language without changing the underlying experience.

In the wild

A distant operations team

Leaders notice that operations employees say “they changed the process” while product employees say “we changed it.” Follow-up conversations reveal that operations is informed only after decisions are final. The company adds operations representation before process decisions are made.

The language signal directs attention to a concrete exclusion in decision-making.

Common mistakes

Turning a signal into a score

Pronouns can reveal distance but cannot explain its cause or replace a broader assessment.

Policing the word they

Pressuring employees to say “we” hides the evidence instead of improving belonging.

Is it for you?

Best for

Leaders who need a lightweight starting point for diagnosing belonging before deeper culture work.

Not ideal for

Organizations seeking a complete inclusion audit or proof of compliance from a single language signal.

From the transcript

diversity is our goal no it's not your goal it's your reality inclus and creating a more inclusive organization that's your goal

Sally Helgesen · 48:30

if people talk about the organization as we you can bet that they perceive it as inclusive

Sally Helgesen · 48:30

if they talk about your organization as they then you know you you've got some work to do

Sally Helgesen · 48:30

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