Give Someone a Chance to Be a Hero
Share the goal out loud — people step up in ways you could never have engineered.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 88%
Nemtin is unambiguous that his group had no business or ability to achieve anything they achieved — every item came through other people who stepped up in unexpected ways, purely because the goals were shared. His formulation is that when you give someone a chance to be a hero, they usually take it. The barrier is fear: at work you ask a mentor for help without hesitation, but on personal goals you go silent and cut your own odds. Sharing does double duty — it lets people help, and it creates the accountability that a deadline-less personal goal otherwise lacks. The requirement is that the goal be true to you; sincerity is what produces the gravitational pull.
Origin
The pattern revealed itself immediately on the 2006 road trip. Unexpectedly, people heard about the trip, looked at the list, and emailed offering to help cross off items — a ride, a hot air balloon, a toast at a stranger's wedding — and sent their own dreams asking for help in return. The used car salesman who sold them a $2,100 truck for $480 and paid the insurance himself became the archetype.
Core principles
- 01When you give someone a chance to be a hero, they usually take it.
- 02The only way big goals get crossed off is through the help of other people.
- 03Help cannot find a goal that has never been stated out loud.
- 04Fear of judgment is what keeps the goal unstated — and therefore unhelped.
- 05Sincere intent is magnetic; people can tell when the ask is true to you.
How to run it
- 1
Notice the double standard
When you hit a challenge at work you go to your leader, a mentor, a friend. With personal goals you do none of that. Naming the inconsistency is what makes the fear visible as fear rather than as prudence.
- 2
Put the goal where people can see it
State it publicly and specifically. Nemtin's group published an audacious list and let strangers self-select into helping with whichever item they happened to have access to.
Pro tip Specificity is what makes help possible. Nobody can offer you a hot air balloon they don't know you want.
Watch out Vague ambition attracts encouragement. Specific goals attract help.
- 3
Lead with the story, not the ask
Nemtin's group didn't ask the car salesman for a discount — they told him the story of a man in his community who had pulled himself out of a homeless shelter and whose truck had broken down.
Pro tip Let the other person be the one who decides how big their contribution is. The salesman invented the insurance part himself.
- 4
Take the help in whatever form it arrives
People stepped up in unexpected ways. The help rarely matches the plan — follow the energy where the momentum actually appears rather than insisting on your intended route.
In the wild
With $480 between four Canadians and no ability to buy a $2,100 truck, the group went to a used car salesman and simply told him the story of Brent — a man in his own community who had escaped a homeless shelter via a landscaping business and whose truck had just died, and who was only asking for pizzas for the shelter, nothing for himself.
→ The salesman sold them the $2,100 truck for their entire $480 and paid the insurance out of his own pocket. Nemtin: 'we gave him a chance to be a hero and he took it.'
Hala Taha started Young and Profiting with no intention to make money — the goal was simply to help people listen, learn and profit. She put it out into the world in its sincere form.
→ By month two she had ten volunteers working for free in a Slack channel supporting the movement. Nemtin's read: when you do good for the world you become magnetic, and people gravitate toward what is true to you.
Common mistakes
Trying to do it in your head, on your own
Nemtin: 'when you don't put it out there no one can help you, you're on your own.' Silence is not neutral — it actively lowers your chances of succeeding, because help is the actual mechanism by which big goals get done.
Asking with an angle
The magnetism comes from the goal being a reflection of your true self. An ask engineered for leverage rather than sincerity does not produce the same gravitational pull — people can tell the difference.
Is it for you?
Best for
People pursuing goals that are objectively beyond their own resources, connections, or money.
Not ideal for
Goals that are genuinely private, or contexts where the ask would be extractive rather than an invitation.
From the transcript
“The only way that we cross things off our list is through the help of other people. I just want to be very clear on…”
“When you give someone a chance to be a hero, they usually take it.”
“When you don't put it out there no one can help you, you're on your own.”
“It's just funny how when you want to do good for the world you just become magnetic and people want to help.”
From the episode
Ben Nemtin: Badass Bucket Lists
Ben Nemtin