Connect Four
Refresh four weak ties each day with quick, agenda-free messages
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 99%
Connect Four is a weekday habit for reactivating weak and dormant ties. Open your phone, find old message threads, and contact up to four people you genuinely remember but have not spoken with recently. State that it has been a while, offer a short personal update, ask what is new, and explicitly remove urgency from the reply. Most exchanges will be brief and produce no immediate result. That is part of the design. Repeating the habit keeps more people aware of you and gives you current knowledge about what they do. Across dozens of low-cost contacts, a small fraction will surface speaking opportunities, hiring needs, introductions, or chances for you to help someone else.
Origin
Harbinger describes Connect Four as a daily morning practice and a quick activity suitable for spare moments such as waiting for coffee.
Core principles
- 01Weak and dormant ties can surface unexpected information and opportunities
- 02Consistency matters more than lengthy conversations
- 03A message should make replying easy and pressure-free
- 04Most outreach will produce nothing immediate, and that is acceptable
How to run it
- 1
Find a dormant thread
Scroll toward the bottom of your recent messages and identify someone you remember positively but have not contacted for a long time.
Pro tip Start with people connected to a real shared experience so the message has natural context.
- 2
Send a low-pressure update
Acknowledge the gap, share one or two meaningful changes in your life, and ask what is new with them. Tell them there is no rush to reply.
Pro tip Keep the message conversational enough to answer in a minute.
Watch out Do not attach a pitch or favour request.
- 3
Let the exchange stay small
Respond naturally if they reply, but do not force a long conversation. A short exchange is enough to refresh mutual awareness.
Watch out Do not judge the habit by whether every contact creates an opportunity.
- 4
Repeat with up to four people
Run the process on weekdays, adjusting the number downward when necessary. Over time, note useful ways to connect or help people in your network.
Pro tip Use otherwise idle moments so the habit does not compete with deep work.
In the wild
Harbinger reconnects with someone without asking for anything. Two months later, that person is entering an annual sales meeting with a keynote budget and remembers him because their recent conversation put him top of mind.
→ A brief relationship-maintenance message creates consideration for a $20,000 speaking opportunity.
Common mistakes
Demanding an immediate reply
Pressure turns a friendly reconnection into an obligation and makes the habit harder for both people to sustain.
Measuring only direct returns
Most messages will not create an opportunity, but the low cost and repeated exposure make the portfolio of interactions valuable.
Is it for you?
Best for
Busy professionals who want a small daily networking habit that can create long-term serendipity.
Not ideal for
Anyone using mass messages, hidden sales pitches, or immediate favour requests.
From the transcript
“connect four is something I do every single day in the morning usually weekdays”
“no rush on the reply just get back to me whenever you can”
“the reason I do that is because those are your weak and dormant ties you reengage those”
From the episode
YAPClassic: Jordan Harbinger on Building Your Social Capital
YAPClassic