The Let's-Have-Coffee Mentor Method
Three special words that unlock any mentor: let's have coffee.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 85%
Perell's mentor method turns the intimidating task of getting a mentor into three easy words: 'let's have coffee.' Backed by her stat that 93% of self-made millionaires have mentors and that mentees are five times more likely to be promoted, she frames mentorship as the easiest lever for success. The method starts with clarity — knowing who you want and exactly why — then a low-commitment 15-minute coffee ask, and showing up prepared with specific questions so the mentor feels they can add value. A key insight is that a mentor only needs slightly more experience than you, not 20 years. Rejection should be shrugged off as busyness, not a personal verdict.
Origin
Perell keeps a mentor for each of her businesses — she calls one her 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' — and says securing them was the game changer in her career, so she teaches the coffee approach she still uses several times a week.
Core principles
- 0193% of self-made millionaires have mentors and mentees are 5x more likely to be promoted.
- 02Know exactly who you want as a mentor and why before you ask.
- 03A low-commitment 15-minute coffee is the easiest possible ask.
- 04Show up prepared with specific questions so the mentor sees they can add value.
- 05A mentor only needs slightly more experience than you, not decades.
- 06Rejection is not personal — people are busy, so keep going.
How to run it
- 1
Get clarity on who and why
Decide who you want to mentor you and be able to state exactly why you think they can help you, tied to what you are trying to achieve in a specific vertical.
Pro tip If you can't say why a specific person can help, they won't take the meeting.
- 2
Ask for coffee
Use the three special words 'let's have coffee' to make a tiny, easy 15-minute ask, in person or virtual, that is hard to refuse.
Pro tip Perell makes this exact ask several times every week herself.
- 3
Show up prepared
Arrive with the specific questions you want answered, because the mentor is judging whether they can genuinely add value and whether to invest further.
Pro tip Preparation is what earns you a second coffee and a real relationship.
Watch out If you show up unprepared, the mentor won't feel they can help and won't continue.
- 4
Pick the right-sized and responsive mentor
Choose someone with realistically more experience than you — even one year ahead helps — and don't take non-responses personally; find a mentor with time and space for you.
Pro tip Someone too far ahead can be too distant from where you are today to help.
Watch out Targeting a mega-famous mentor when you're just starting is unrealistic; level up mentors as you grow.
In the wild
For her beverage business, Perell recruited a mentor 20 years ahead in that vertical whom she calls Obi-Wan Kenobi, keeping a dedicated mentor for each of her businesses.
→ Having experienced mentors to call became the game changer across her ventures.
Common mistakes
Asking without clarity
Reaching out to a potential mentor without being able to say exactly why they can help you gets the meeting declined before it starts.
Taking rejection personally
Assuming a non-response is about you rather than someone being busy causes people to give up instead of finding a mentor with the time to help.
Is it for you?
Best for
Early-career professionals and founders who need guidance in a specific area and want to build mentor relationships.
Not ideal for
Those targeting unrealistically famous mentors far beyond their current stage.
From the transcript
“I say three special words. So easy. Let's have coffee.”
“93% of self-made millionaires have mentors. And even if you have a job, you're five times more likely to be promoted if you have a…”
From the episode
Kim Perell: 5 Execution Traits That Transform Ideas Into a $100M Business
Kim Perell