The Mental Health Tool Kit
Sleep is the base every other pillar rests on — then catch the dip before it becomes a crisis.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 5
- Confidence
- 87%
Nemtin still gets depressed and says so deliberately — the people you don't think struggle, struggle. His toolkit puts sleep underneath everything else: not a pillar of wellness but the base all pillars rest on, which is why he doesn't even list it as a habit. Around that sit stacked sleep aids, a therapist retained before he needs one, friends he can actually ask for help, and — the load-bearing piece — tuned awareness of what his own feelings mean. That awareness is what lets him catch a dip before it becomes a crisis: he reads the signal and acts, getting sleep, taking a break, going to play tennis. Each episode since university has been less intense as a result.
Origin
In his first year of college, on scholarship and on the under-19 national rugby team training for the World Cup, Nemtin's fear of missing a kick spiralled into anxiety, then insomnia, then an inability to attend school or practice, then an inability to leave the house. He internalised all of it, told no one, and dropped out. His friends physically pulled him out of the house and rallied him to work with them in a new town — the beginning of both the recovery and the toolkit.
Core principles
- 01Sleep is not a pillar of wellness — it is the base all pillars rest on.
- 02Every human will go through a mental health crisis; nobody is alone in the struggle.
- 03Each subsequent episode is less intense because you learn what your signals mean.
- 04The goal is to catch it before crisis, not to manage the crisis.
- 05Build the support network before you need it.
How to run it
- 1
Put sleep underneath everything
Treat sleep as the base rather than one habit among many. Nemtin targets eight hours and doesn't include it in his habit list because it sits beneath the list.
Watch out Worry prevents sleep and lack of sleep amplifies worry. Nemtin names this as the loop that perpetuates the problem — which is why sleep is the intervention point.
- 2
Stack the sleep aids without being fanatical
Nemtin's stack: meditation when he wakes at 4am and can't get back down (it may take an hour, but his mind slows and he returns to sleep), magnesium, an eye mask, German wax earplugs for the road, and a chili pad to keep the bed cold.
Pro tip Meditation is the tool for the 4am wake-up specifically — not a replacement for sleep, a route back into it.
Watch out Don't be fanatical about optimisation. Everyone is a little different; these are aids, not a religion.
- 3
Build the support network in advance
Nemtin has a therapist he knows he can lean back on and talk to more if needed, and friends he can go to and ask for help. Both were in place before the dips he now catches early.
Watch out Assembling a support network during a crisis is the exact moment you have least capacity to do it.
- 4
Learn what your feelings mean, then catch it before crisis
The key upgrade from college. When Nemtin starts to feel something, instead of it being a crisis he reads it: I need better sleep, I need to take a break and go play tennis. Awareness of what your body needs is what converts a crisis into an adjustment.
Pro tip The measure of the toolkit working is that each episode is less intense than the last, not that episodes stop.
- 5
Speak it — the thing loses power out loud
Talking about it lets you process and break it down, in therapy or with friends. Nemtin: things are much scarier when they're in your head. Find someone you trust, ideally a professional.
Pro tip Repetition drains it. Nemtin's hands shook so badly the first time he spoke about it on stage that he balled them into fists behind his back; less the next time, less again, until he looked forward to it.
In the wild
Nemtin was on scholarship, on the under-19 national rugby team, playing fly half — the kicker and quarterback. He had missed a kick at the end of his high school championship game and started worrying at night about missing an easy kick at the World Cup. The anxiety cost him sleep, the lack of sleep compounded the anxiety, and it built until he couldn't go to school, then couldn't go to rugby practice, then couldn't leave the house. He was a happy-go-lucky guy with lots of supportive friends and told none of them what was happening.
→ He dropped out. His friends pulled him out of the house and rallied him to work with them in a new town, where a forced job, doing things on his own, and finally talking about it rebuilt his confidence. Every subsequent episode has been less intense.
The first time Nemtin talked about his depression on stage, he was terrified — his hands shook so hard he had to ball them into fists behind his back. He did it again. Still shaking, but less. Then less again.
→ He now looks forward to the opportunity, because the thing he thought was his weakness and was too ashamed to mention became a tool to help others. 'This thing had control of me and now I feel I have more control of it.'
Common mistakes
Internalising it
Nemtin told nobody during his college collapse and 'just went down and down and down.' Isolation is the worst thing when you're feeling down, and it is exactly what shame produces.
Assuming the people who look fine are fine
Nemtin still gets depressed despite appearing energetic and always smiling. Every human goes through a mental health crisis — from illness, divorce, job loss, or bereavement. Believing otherwise is what makes your own struggle feel uniquely disqualifying.
Treating sleep as a wellness bonus
Sleep is not one pillar among several — it's the base they all rest on. Optimising meditation and exercise on top of a broken sleep baseline is building on nothing.
Is it for you?
Best for
High performers who put heavy pressure on themselves and have a history of working themselves too hard.
Not ideal for
Anyone in acute crisis right now, who needs professional care rather than a self-management framework.
From the transcript
“I don't think it's a pillar of wellness, I think it's the base of which all pillars rest.”
“When I start to feel something, instead of it being a crisis, I catch it before crisis.”
“This thing that I thought was my weakness that I never used to talk about because I was ashamed, now I can see it's my…”
“When you speak things they lose their power, they're much scarier when they're in your head.”
From the episode
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Ben Nemtin