The Money Diary
Log every purchase with why and how it felt to find where your money really goes.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 90%
The Money Diary is a temporary practice of writing down every purchase, especially discretionary ones, across four fields: what you spent it on, how much, why you made the purchase, and how it made you feel. The 'why' and 'how it felt' are the transformational part because money is emotional, and the exercise surfaces whether a purchase was joy, belonging, or coping. It is explicitly not about shame; it's about watching your own behavior and mindset. Over time, awareness kicks in before you swipe the card, so your money flows to things that genuinely light you up.
Origin
Dunlap developed the practice during one-on-one coaching when clients could tell her what money came in but had no idea where it went; reviewing credit card statements revealed the gap, and she formalized it in Financial Feminist.
Core principles
- 01You can't manage spending you can't see.
- 02The 'why' and 'how it felt' reveal the emotional drivers behind purchases.
- 03The goal is observation, not shame or judgment.
- 04Awareness at the point of purchase changes future behavior.
How to run it
- 1
Log what and how much
For a set period, write down every purchase you make and its cost, focusing especially on discretionary spending.
- 2
Capture the why
Note the reason behind each purchase, whether practical, social, or emotional.
- 3
Capture the feeling
Record how the purchase made you feel, since this reveals the emotional pattern driving your spending.
Pro tip Feelings like belonging, showing off, or coping are the signal you're looking for.
Watch out Do not use this as a tool for self-shaming; the stance is curious observation.
- 4
Let awareness redirect you
As the pattern becomes visible, pause before purchases to check whether you actually need and want the thing.
In the wild
Dunlap bought a $75 pregnancy pillow during the pandemic despite not being pregnant or planning to be. The Money Diary framing asks whether she needed to feel something (yes) and whether it was a good purchase. In this case, examining it honestly, she still uses it constantly.
→ The exercise validated a genuinely good purchase while training her to notice when spending is emotional coping versus real value.
Common mistakes
Skipping the why and how-it-felt
Logging only what and how much makes it a plain expense tracker and misses the emotional drivers that actually change behavior.
Using it to shame yourself
Judgment triggers defensiveness and abandonment; the practice only works from a neutral, observational stance.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone who feels their money disappears and wants to understand their spending triggers.
Not ideal for
People who will use the log to punish themselves rather than observe neutrally.
From the transcript
“it's literally writing down every purchase you make especially discretionary purchases for a period of time and it's not to shame you it's more just…”
“the why and how it made you feel is the transformational part because again money psychological it's emotional”
From the episode
Tori Dunlap: Unlocking Financial Freedom, the REAL Cause of Money Problems and How to Defeat Them for Good
Tori Dunlap