POW WOW BOW Reflection Ritual
Worst, best, and grateful — balance the failure talk.
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 72%
POW WOW BOW is a reflection ritual Perell adopted (from consultant Abby Ziv) as a balanced upgrade to her father's dinner-table practice of only asking about the worst thing that happened each day. POW is the worst thing, WOW is the best thing, and BOW is one thing you're grateful for. It normalizes talking about mistakes and the 'messy middle' so her four kids strive for growth over perfection. Hala Taha notes it translates directly to teams, where surfacing the biggest roadblock — not just the highlight — is exactly what lets a leader help. The ritual makes it safe to fail and turns reflection into a consistent, shared habit.
Origin
Perell grew up with a father who asked only 'what's the worst thing that happened today' at dinner; she and her husband adopted the balanced POW WOW BOW version, created by a consultant named Abby Ziv, as a dinner ritual for their four kids.
Core principles
- 01Naming failures out loud makes it safe to make mistakes.
- 02Balancing the worst with the best and a gratitude keeps reflection healthy.
- 03Talking about the low points, not just highlights, is where a leader can help.
- 04Strive for growth and learning rather than perfection.
- 05A consistent ritual normalizes the messy middle of any journey.
How to run it
- 1
POW — name the worst
Have each person share the worst thing that happened to them that day, making it normal and safe to talk about failure and setbacks.
Pro tip Surfacing low points is how a leader learns what to help solve.
Watch out Only asking about the worst, as Perell's father did, can be unbalanced without the next steps.
- 2
WOW — name the best
Have each person share the best thing that happened that day, balancing the failure talk with a genuine positive.
- 3
BOW — name a gratitude
Have each person share one thing they are grateful for, closing the reflection on an appreciative note.
Pro tip Used consistently, this becomes a fun and grounding dinner or meeting ritual.
In the wild
With four kids, Perell replaced her father's worst-thing-only question with POW WOW BOW so her children learn it's okay to make mistakes and to strive for growth rather than perfection.
→ Her kids know it's safe to talk about mistakes and are being raised to value growth and learning over a picture-perfect image.
Common mistakes
Only sharing highlights
When people only talk about wins, struggles stay hidden and unsolved, and failure feels shameful; a leader can't help with a challenge they never hear about.
Is it for you?
Best for
Parents, families, and team leaders who want to normalize discussing failure and build a growth mindset.
Not ideal for
Groups needing deep structured problem-solving rather than a brief reflective check-in.
From the transcript
“Bow pow which is the worst thing that happened to me today... wow which is the best thing... and bow one thing that you're grateful…”
“I actually want to know the low lights, like what actually are you facing challenges because my best skill will be in helping you overcome…”
From the episode
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