The Seven Mindsets of a Connector
Open, clear-visioned, trusting, abundant, curious, conscientious, generous — the enabling mindsets of connection.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 7
- Confidence
- 88%
The Seven Mindsets are the dispositions Lederman found connectors share: open and accepting, clear vision, trust, abundance, social and curious, conscientious, and generous spirit. They are explicitly non-linear and mutually enabling — it is hard to be conscientious without a generous spirit, or generous without abundance. Openness is placed first because it is foundational, and generosity is treated as the throughline of what a connector actually is. Together they shift connection from a tactical activity to a way of being.
Origin
The mindsets are the core of Lederman's book The Connector's Advantage, developed from her work helping organizations build connected cultures at firms like Deloitte, Johnson & Johnson and JP Morgan.
Core principles
- 01The seven mindsets are non-linear and enable each other rather than running in sequence.
- 02Openness is foundational and bi-directional — toward others and toward yourself.
- 03Abundance replaces scarcity thinking with the belief there is enough to go around.
- 04Generosity of spirit is what makes someone a connector rather than a networker.
How to run it
- 1
Be open and accepting
Be open to others' ideas and differences, open to being wrong, and open and accepting of yourself so you can extend that grace to others.
Pro tip Being authentic doesn't give you permission to be a jerk — openness includes flexing traits that aren't working.
- 2
Have a clear vision
Know what you actually want so that when help is offered you can direct it — you can't get faster, easier, better results without knowing the result you seek.
Pro tip Use short-horizon visions (three, six, nine month, one year) if long-term planning feels forced.
- 3
Trust
Build the foundation of relationship on four pillars — authenticity, vulnerability, transparency, consistency — and give trust to get trust.
Watch out Don't treat vulnerability as weakness; it is openness and it builds credibility.
- 4
Come from abundance
Believe there is enough to go around and that outcomes can be exponentially better, rather than operating from scarcity of money, time, clients or opportunity.
Pro tip Feel the jealousy, let it go, then go back and ask the person to teach you how they did it.
- 5
Be social and curious
Put yourself in a position to be curious about one other individual — this is not being the life of the party, and introverts are uniquely skilled at it.
Pro tip Find your format and channel, then stretch just a little beyond it regularly.
- 6
Be conscientious
Do what you say, follow up and follow through, and learn to frame both yes and no so boundaries protect the relationship.
Pro tip Yes and no are not one-word answers — frame them so they aren't off-putting.
- 7
Have a generous spirit
Want to add value and support others, focusing on the interaction between people and how to create value for all — extended to yourself as well.
In the wild
A friend landed an amazing client in the sports field and Lederman felt intensely jealous. Instead of staying there, she let the feeling pass and went back to ask her friend to teach her how she landed the account.
→ She converted a scarcity-driven jealousy into a learning collaboration, modeling the abundance mindset.
Common mistakes
Treating the mindsets as sequential
They are non-linear and enable each other; trying to 'complete' one before starting the next misses how conscientiousness depends on generosity and generosity on abundance.
Equating social-and-curious with being an extrovert
Being social and curious means engaging one individual, not being a social butterfly — introverts, being strong listeners, are naturally good at it.
Is it for you?
Best for
Leaders and individuals wanting to build a connected culture and durable relationships rather than transactional contacts.
Not ideal for
Those seeking a rigid step-by-step networking script rather than a set of habits to cultivate.
From the transcript
“connectors are open accepting they have a Clear Vision they trust they come from a place of abundance they're social and curious conscientious and have…”
“they actually enable each other... it's really hard to be conscientious if you don't trust”
From the episode
Michelle Tillis Lederman: Creating Connection, How to Build Strong Relationships in the Networking Age
Michelle Tillis Lederman