Start Meetings With Social Time
Put five minutes of guided social time on the agenda to build the culture that makes remote teams work.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 82%
Start Meetings With Social Time is a management practice for keeping remote teams connected. Vanderkam argues a manager's job is not just getting work done but keeping people motivated, which requires a culture people feel plugged into. The core move is putting five minutes of social time on the meeting agenda — everyone answering one guided question — so it's deliberate rather than the awkward weather small talk that people rush past. This also ensures every voice is heard early, priming full participation. Beyond meetings, managers should proactively call people to check in (not only when something's wrong) and run short, well-facilitated virtual social events.
Origin
Vanderkam prescribed this after seeing remote teams lose morale and connection during the shift to working from home, reframing manager responsibility around cultivating culture rather than only tracking output.
Core principles
- 01A manager's job is not just getting work done but keeping people motivated to do it.
- 02Motivation depends on a culture people feel plugged into and cheered on by.
- 03Putting social time on the agenda makes it deliberate rather than awkward small talk.
- 04Hearing everyone's voice early primes everyone to contribute during the meeting.
- 05Investing a few minutes up front prevents costly second meetings from unresolved friction.
How to run it
- 1
Put social time on the agenda
Explicitly schedule about five minutes of social time at the start of the meeting so it's intentional, not awkward filler.
Pro tip Have everyone answer one guided question so it's structured and inclusive.
Watch out Don't leave it as the awkward 'is everyone here, can we start' small talk people rush past.
- 2
Make sure every voice is heard
Use the opening round so everyone speaks early, which primes them to contribute during the meeting itself.
Pro tip You want the meeting to involve everyone's contributions, and hearing each voice early makes that natural.
- 3
Proactively check in one-on-one
As a manager, get in the habit of calling people just to see how they're doing, not only when there's a problem.
Pro tip This removes the onus on employees to reach out and signals you're not only calling when they're in trouble.
- 4
Run short, facilitated social events
Host well-facilitated virtual social activities kept to about 30 minutes with a limited number of people.
Pro tip Guide the fun: a trivia game, a scavenger hunt, or a discussion of a shared article or book with one person leading.
Watch out Unfacilitated virtual socials fall flat; facilitation is what makes them work.
In the wild
At a large employer, as work-from-home progressed, team morale collapsed — no one even said happy holidays, and people only spoke in meetings, losing all connection.
→ Vanderkam frames this as avoidable: deliberate social time and proactive check-ins are what keep a remote culture alive.
Common mistakes
Treating social time as wasted time
Skipping the few minutes of connection to save time backfires, producing disengaged teams and even extra meetings when friction goes unresolved.
Only contacting people when there's a problem
If employees only hear from you to ask where a report is, they feel monitored rather than supported, eroding trust and morale.
Is it for you?
Best for
Managers of remote or distributed teams who want to rebuild culture and keep employees engaged.
Not ideal for
Contexts where participants have no ongoing relationship and won't meet again, making culture-building irrelevant.
From the transcript
“one thing that people can do is start all meetings with a few minutes of social time”
“get in the habit of calling people like just you know picking up the phone and calling people so that you don't put the onus…”
From the episode
Laura Vanderkam: Smarter Ways to WFH (Work From Home)
Laura Vanderkam