The Three V's of Congruent Communication
Verbal, vocal, and visual must agree — when they clash, the words are useless.
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 3
- Confidence
- 85%
Lederman corrects the common misreading of Albert Mehrabian's 'Silent Messages' statistic — 7% verbal, 38% vocal, 55% visual. The numbers do not mean words are meaningless; they describe what people believe when the three channels are incongruent. When a teenager says 'everything's fine' while slumped over, the body wins, then the voice, then the words. She stresses word choice matters — favoring actionable, neutral, or positive language — but the real goal is congruency across all three V's. Even on the phone the visual component survives, because tone signals posture and presence.
Origin
Drawn from psychologist Albert Mehrabian's book Silent Messages, which Lederman cites and then reframes to counter the widespread misinterpretation that words don't matter.
Core principles
- 01Mehrabian's split — 7% verbal, 38% vocal, 55% visual — applies specifically to incongruent, face-to-face messages, not to a claim that words don't matter.
- 02When the three V's clash, body language is most believed, then voice, then words.
- 03Word choice still matters enormously; congruency is the point.
- 04Even on the phone the visual component doesn't disappear — the voice gives a visual indication.
How to run it
- 1
Align all three channels
Ensure your verbal (words), vocal (tone), and visual (body) signals all convey the same message, since incongruency is what makes words useless.
Watch out If the three clash, listeners believe your body first, then your voice, then your words.
- 2
Choose actionable, neutral, or positive words
Word choice influences how you say things and how others respond, which amplifies over the exchange — so words still matter even though congruency dominates.
- 3
Respect the visual channel even by phone
The visual component doesn't disappear on a call — posture and distance from the mic register in your voice, so stay upright and present.
Pro tip Don't slump on a phone call; your body's state leaks into your tone and gives a visual read.
In the wild
Lederman illustrates incongruency with a teenager saying 'everything is fine' while slumped over — the words are meaningless because the body language contradicts them.
→ Body language believed over the spoken words.
Common mistakes
Concluding words don't matter
Misreading the 7/38/55 split leads people to dismiss word choice, when in fact words matter and only lose to body language under incongruency.
Using hedging language
Minimizers like 'just,' 'only,' 'simply,' and 'I'm not sure but' signal you don't believe yourself, so the listener won't believe you either.
Is it for you?
Best for
Anyone giving impressions in meetings, pitches, presentations, or calls.
Not ideal for
Pure written communication with no vocal or visual channel.
From the transcript
“seven percent of somebody liking you is verbal 38 is vocal and 55 is a visual”
“when there's incongruency between these three things the words are useless”
“the body language is what is going to be what's most believable and then the voice and then the words”
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